Jokes

phil3000

General

27 Feb 14 18:01

PieceOut

Joined: 19 Jul 19
Moves: 2009

03 Apr 23 20:32

-1

-Removed-

I meant “mist” as in “missed”. Trying keep the weather theme going. If you have to explain it, the joke has failed, sorry. The other jokes have been hilarious

PieceOut

Joined: 19 Jul 19
Moves: 2009

03 Apr 23 20:39

I can’t tell you the joke about the Indian Lawyer because you haven’t signed a naan-disclosure agreement

rookie54

free tazer tickles..

wildly content...

Joined: 09 Mar 08
Moves: 215979

12 Apr 23 12:48

if yer a naughty rainbow
you will go to prism, but
first timers get a light sentence

moonbus

Über-Nerd (emeritus)

Joined: 31 May 12
Moves: 9597

14 Apr 23 06:52

What breed of dog does Harry Potter have?

A labradacabradore.

Great Big Stees

Joined: 14 Mar 04
Moves: 205088

17 Apr 23 17:17

A friend’s wife asked him if she was the only one he’d made love to. He thought a moment and said, yes…al the others were either a seven or eight.😲

Torunn

Gothenburg

Joined: 11 Mar 16
Moves: 29887

17 Apr 23 17:45

@great-big-stees said
A friend’s wife asked him if she was the only one he’d made love to. He thought a moment and said, yes…al the others were either a seven or eight.😲

She: Am I the prettiest girl you have ever kissed?
He: Yes, and the first too.

~~Removed~~

20 Apr 23 08:21

whats the difference between a crocodile and an alligator....
well One youre gonna see "later"
and the other " in a while"

Gambrel

Joined: 16 Aug 15
Moves: 1245

20 Apr 23 12:55

I lost my mood ring I've had since 1975. I'm not sure how to feel about it.

FMF

Joined: 28 Oct 05
Moves: 34587

22 Apr 23 04:40

-2

An old man went to the doctor.

"I've got a terrible problem with gas. But it doesn't bother me because they do not smell and they are silent. I've already farted ten times since I came into your office."

"I see," said the doctor. "Take these pills and come back and see me in a week".

The old man came back a week later.

"Doctor, I don't know what pills you gave me, but, although my farts are still silent, they now stink terribly."

"Good", said the doctor, "now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

Gambrel

Joined: 16 Aug 15
Moves: 1245

22 Apr 23 05:29

They broke the mold when they made you. They didn't want to make that mistake again.

The Gravedigger

Jack Torrance

Overlook Hotel

Joined: 04 Feb 11
Moves: 56357

22 Apr 23 07:56

-2

@fmf said
An old man went to the doctor.

"I've got a terrible problem with gas. But it doesn't bother me because they do not smell and they are silent. I've already farted ten times since I came into your office."

"I see," said the doctor. "Take these pills and come back and see me in a week".

The old man came back a week later.

"Doctor, I don't know what pills you gave me, b ...[text shortened]... ."

"Good", said the doctor, "now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

I went to the doctors. I pressed in a about 10 different places on my body saying when I press here it hurts.
The doctor said you have got a broken finger.

FMF

Joined: 28 Oct 05
Moves: 34587

22 Apr 23 11:20

-2

@the-gravedigger said
I went to the doctors. I pressed in a about 10 different places on my body saying when I press here it hurts.
The doctor said you have got a broken finger.

I went to the doctors. Hair a mess. Red eyes bulging, staring. Cracked lips. Gaunt face. Shallow breathing. Hunched shoulders. "You've got to stop masturbating", the doctor said. Why? I asked. "Because I'm trying to examine you."