Jokes

@ghost-of-a-duke said
I returned my lizard to the pet store today as it wouldn't stop telling me jokes.

The store clerk said "that isn't a lizard, it is a stand up chameleon."

Be grateful it wasn't Buddhist, it would keep singing 1980s songs at you.

@shallow-blue said
Be grateful it wasn't Buddhist, it would keep singing 1980s songs at you.

Ha!

I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes...

It's only a draft at the moment.

I know a midget who needs a job.
He's struggling to put food on the table.

What Asian stereo type do you hear most?
Personally I have a Yamaha surround-sound system.

My doctor has advised me to stop drinking - it’s going to be a massive change for me.

I've been with that doctor for 15 years.

@ghost-of-a-duke said
Ha!

I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes...

It's only a draft at the moment.

I have a friend who might be able to help. She is called Gale.

@the-gravedigger said
I have a friend who might be able to help. She is called Gale.

We’ll blow me down! I knew that gal, too! She sure breezed in and out of my life like a zephyr.

@moonbus said
We’ll blow me down! I knew that gal, too! She sure breezed in and out of my life like a zephyr.

We had a stormy relationship.

@the-gravedigger said
We had a stormy relationship.

It was the shot of lightning I got in the butt right after that blew me down and damn near killed Gale.

Why did Thor lose his lightning powers?


Because Odin grounded him.

@the-gravedigger said
I have a friend who might be able to help. She is called Gale.

Guaranteed to blow your mind

@badradger said
Guaranteed to blow your mind

Haha!

@divegeester said
Haha!

I don’t get it. I must have mist something

@pieceout said
I don’t get it. I must have mist something

Well you haven’t been on the site since June last year so…

We’ve just found out that my uncle is addicted to Viagra, no one is taking it harder than me.