Jokes

Jokes

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Joined
14 Mar 15
Moves
28784
315d

When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive.

It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.

Fighting for men’s

right to have babies

Joined
16 Feb 08
Moves
117152
314d

I had no idea that you had a phobia of elevators?

Yeah, I’ve been taking steps to avoid them.

Joined
14 Mar 15
Moves
28784
313d

So, it turns out I'm completely colour blind. The diagnosis came right out of the purple.

chemist

Linkenheim

Joined
22 Apr 05
Moves
657157
310d

How can you tell which rabbits are getting old?

Look for the grey hares

F

Joined
28 Oct 05
Moves
34587
305d

Pawn Whisperer

My Kingdom fora Pawn

Joined
09 Jan 19
Moves
18829
304d

hehehe, that was actually pretty funny

Über-Nerd

Joined
31 May 12
Moves
8389
304d

@ghost-of-a-duke said
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive.

It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
TU from me Ghost,

I relayed your joke to my younger sister and a good friend. I received the following replies:

<<All us younger brothers have been there. Although, in my case, it took a different form. A circus came to a neighbouring town. That town and mine were separated by an extensive wooded area. Anthony [name not changed to implicate the guilty] and his best friend were annoyed by me (the fat little brother) tagging along when they went into the woods to go tree climbing. I couldn't climb the tree they were up so they decided to have some fun and started discussing the news that a man-eating tiger had escaped from the nearby circus and might be in the wood where we were. I (probably aged 7) listened with increasing alarm and eventually hysterical panic. I burst into tears and fled for home tripping, being scratched by brambles and arrived home in a state of gibbering terror from which I had only partially recovered by the time I went to university.>>

<<I have a friend in Homer [Alaska] whose older brother told her that rubbing cow patties on her face would get rid of the freckles. It didn’t work. Her grandpa had to tell her. That it was a mean joke.>>


😆

free tazer tickles..

wildly content...

Joined
09 Mar 08
Moves
201304
300d

i went to the library and asked for a book on pavlov's dog and schrodinger's cat
the librarian said it rung a bell but wasn't sure if it was there or not

chemist

Linkenheim

Joined
22 Apr 05
Moves
657157
298d

The doctor has given me two months to live...


I've chosen August and December, because I like summer but don't want to miss Christmas.

Pawn Whisperer

My Kingdom fora Pawn

Joined
09 Jan 19
Moves
18829
298d

It seems strange to be the same age as people that are old 🤔

Nil desperandum

Seedy piano bar

Joined
09 May 08
Moves
280496
293d

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

Gothenburg

Joined
11 Mar 16
Moves
27131
293d

One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends … because they can’t remember them.

Jack Torrance

Overlook Hotel

Joined
04 Feb 11
Moves
47017
290d

Doctor: We got your test results back.
Me: Did I pass?
Doctor: You will soon.

Pawn Whisperer

My Kingdom fora Pawn

Joined
09 Jan 19
Moves
18829
289d

Old man goes to doctor with his son.

Nurse: Ok, we will need a blood sample, a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample.
Old Man: What she say,,,?
Son: Just leave a pair of your underwear, dad.

Gothenburg

Joined
11 Mar 16
Moves
27131
287d

Whats the difference between love and marriage?

Love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener!