Jokes

At the risk of a repeat...
The Flat Earth Society reported a big membership total.
Said they got members all over the globe...

Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, has obviously never had to reboot a computer.
~ William Petersen

You need a relationship partner with better credit than you. That's why they call them significant others.
Sign/If/I/Can't

@torunn said
Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, has obviously never had to reboot a computer.
~ William Petersen

Someone gave me some alligator meat, but we have a croc pot

@gambrel said
Someone gave me some alligator meat, but we have a croc pot

From my current book:

" In police work, as in marriage, compromise is essential... A man wants to buy a new car and his wife wants to buy a mink coat. They compromise. The wife buys a mink coat and keeps it in the garage."

@torunn said
From my current book:

" In police work, as in marriage, compromise is essential... A man wants to buy a new car and his wife wants to buy a mink coat. They compromise. The wife buys a mink coat and keeps it in the garage."

@kevin-eleven said
Is that one by Simenon? I didn't know he threw jokes in. 😉

Me: I'd like a book about turtles please.
Book store clerk: Hard back?
Me: Yes and a little tiny head.

Orion’s Belt isn't very impressive.

I give it three stars.

The cashier said, ‘Strip down, facing me.’ How was I to know she actually meant my debit card?

@Gambrel

I had the rudest, slowest, nastiest cashier today!
I guess it’s my own fault for using the self checkout lane.

It turns out Tyrannosaurus Rex might really have been three separate dinosaurs, stacked up in a trench coat.

@Kevin-Eleven
They fooled EVERYONE though🙂