Jokes

@Ponderable
Good one🙂

do not trust atoms
they make up everything

What do Manchester United, Blacked Eyed Peas and Prince Andrew have in common.
Useless since Fergie left.

£500 to hire a bouncy castle?

Damn you inflation.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

@torunn said
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Marriage is like a city under siege.
The ones on the outside trying to get in and the ones on the inside trying to get out.

I had dinner the other day with Garry Kasparov. We had a checkered tablecloth and it took him two hours to pass me the salt.😲😡😉

I played chess with our cat recently. When my wife came home she said 'I didn't realise the cat was so clever.'
I replied 'she isn't, I'm winning 3 games to 2.'

@the-gravedigger said
I played chess with our cat recently. When my wife came home she said 'I didn't realise the cat was so clever.'
I replied 'she isn't, I'm winning 3 games to 2.'

Catty...very catty.😲

@great-big-stees said
Catty...very catty.😲

You must know my wife 😉

Why is Djokovic so against getting vaccinated?
its all in his name... No Vac.

Why do you despise bureaucrats so? They don't do anything.

Boris Johnson takes the cabinet out for dinner.

The waiter comes along and asks her what he will be eating tonight.

“I'll have the steak," Boris says.

The waiter then asks, 'What about the vegetables?'

Boris replies, “Oh, they'll have the same as me.”

A blonde walks into a gas staion and asks an employee, " I locked my keys in the car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?"

Ten minutes later a trucker comes in and can't stop laughing, so the employee
asks him what's so funny. The trucker replies, " There's a blonde who's trying to open her car with a coat hanger!"
The employee says "So what? This could happen to anyone."
But the trucker explains, "Sure, but usually there isn't another blonde in the car who yells "a little more right... a little more left!"

@ponderable said
Boris Johnson takes the cabinet out for dinner.

The waiter comes along and asks her what he will be eating tonight.

“I'll have the steak," Boris says.

The waiter then asks, 'What about the vegetables?'

Boris replies, “Oh, they'll have the same as me.”

That joke was funnier (and truer to her character) when Spitting Image told it about Maggie.