Trust: given or earned?

When I meet people I tend to not trust them until such time as they earn it. This doesn’t mean that I treat them poorly, I just don’t give them the key to my house until I understand their character.

Some observers may think this is a poor way to approach early relationships but I disagree. I find that if I trust a person before I know them, and they then betray that trust, then their is bad blood between us.

This notion that we should I all trust one another from the get go is to me a crock of rainbow and unicorn hugging nonsense which may work with some people but with others will leave a bitter and resentful end to a relationship which could have gradually blossomed.

So I say don’t trust people until you know them sufficiently.

What say you?

@divegeester said
When I meet people I tend to not trust them until such time as they earn it. This doesn’t mean that I treat them poorly, I just don’t give them the key to my house until I understand their character.

Some observers may think this is a poor way to approach early relationships but I disagree. I find that if I trust a person before I know them, and they then betray that ...[text shortened]... ually blossomed.

So I say don’t trust people until you know them sufficiently.

What say you?

What says the bible?

Aren't you supposed to be a Christian?

@neilarini said
What says the bible?

Aren't you supposed to be a Christian?

I presume from your “aren’t you supposed to be a Christian” barb, that you must think that you already know what the bible says, so why don’t you post it so we can discuss it?

@divegeester said
I presume from your “aren’t you supposed to be a Christian” barb, that you must think that you already know what the bible says, so why don’t you post it so we can discuss it?

Jesus' message was love.

Yours is no trust.

Are you not a Christian?

@neilarini said
Jesus' message was love.

Yours is no trust.

Are you not a Christian?

“Jesus message was love”
Do you have a biblical scripture instead of this Sunday school motto? The Beatles message was love.

“Yours is no trust”
Did you read all of my post, or just your favourite bits?

“Are you not a Christian?”
Don’t non Christians have trust then?

Neilarani, do you want to discuss this?

It’s a good point you make. Tell me what you think the bible says about trusting other people?

@divegeester said
“Jesus message was love”
Do you have a biblical scripture instead of this Sunday school motto? The Beatles message was love.

“Yours is no trust”
Did you read all of my post, or just your favourite bits?

“Are you not a Christian?”
Don’t non Christians have trust then?

I Googled 'jesus' message' and it said 'fear not for I am with you'.

But your sentiment that you don't trust people contrasts this.

Ok neilarini while you have a think about this topic, let’s look at some biblical scriptures on trust to get the ball rolling.

Micha 7:5
Put no trust in a neighbour, have no confidence in a friend, guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your arms.

Psalm 118:8
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.

Psalm 146:3
Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation

Neilarini, here are three examples where the Lord God advises his servants to NOT trust in man.

@neilarini said
I Googled 'jesus' message' and it said 'fear not for I am with you'.

But your sentiment that you don't trust people contrasts this.

That message you found is one of the greats. Good one. It means a lot to me personally.

There is a biblical point here; it is that what we as people think of as good behaviour is not always the wisest course of action.

divegeester, why are you haranguing neilarini?

@fmf said
divegeester, why are you haranguing neilarini?

What?

@divegeester said
What?

And now you're being aggressive with me, too.

@fmf said
And now you're being aggressive with me, too.

I’m trying to kick off a thread about trust and neilarini has shown interest in the topic. I’m not haranguing him.

@divegeester said
I’m trying to kick off a thread about trust and neilarini has shown interest in the topic. I’m not haranguing him.

Deny it all you want. I am done with you.

Wow! Somebody has a great sense of sarcastic humor.