Jokes

yer opinion - 3.14 = an onion

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles.

i'm in the truck
she's washing the windshield
i point out imaginary spots for her to wash

i lock the doors

Why don't cows have feet?
They lactose

Sometimes I wake up grumpy.

Other times, I just let him sleep in.

An old one came to mind...

asks the Doctor: how is your bowel movement?
regular each morning at 8.
Wonderful.
That depends I only rise at about 10....

a man walks into a pub and sees a gorrila serving beer.....the gorrilla says "whats up mate never seen a gorrila pulling pints" "its not that" says the man " I just never thought the owl would sell up"

E-flat walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don't serve minors.”

I'll never forget my grandad's last words:

"You still holding that ladder?"

@ponderable said
An old one came to mind...

asks the Doctor: how is your bowel movement?
regular each morning at 8.
Wonderful.
That depends I only rise at about 10....

Pondy, that joke was execrable. 😉

i decided to make a few new friends
but the requirements for dna manipulation are rather difficult

@phil3000 said
What do you call a Spaniard that has had his car stolen ?...Carlos
Spanish archer .....El bow

There were 2 dead bodies on the road, a big rat and a small lawyer. How do you tell which is which?

There were skid marks in front of the rat, where the driver tried to stop! 😏

@ghost-of-a-duke said
I'll never forget my grandad's last words:

"You still holding that ladder?"

My grandad died in his sleep.
Unlike his passengers who died screaming in terror.

A new restaurant open up named "Karma."

There's no menu.

You get what you deserve.

@moonbus said
A new restaurant open up named "Karma."

There's no menu.

You get what you deserve.

I'll have the chicken karma