- Joined
- 18 Jan 07
- Moves
- 12477
@pieceout saidInsanity and grey hairs are hereditary. You get both from your children.
Insanity doesn’t run in my family.
It strolls through slowly, taking its time to get to know everyone personally along the way
(Not true in my case. I inherited my insanity from my father, and my very much not grey and rather curly hair from my mother. But neither of those are funny.)
This duck walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves.
The next day the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the duck leaves.
The day after that the duck walks in the store again and asks "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck,
"You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told you no every time that we don't
have any grapes! I swear if you come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"
The duck leaves and returns the next day. This time he asks, "Do you have any nails?"
The clerk replies "No," and the duck said, "Okay, then. Got any grapes?"
- Joined
- 18 Jan 07
- Moves
- 12477
@the-gravedigger saidWrong nationality starting with 'I', I think. Either that, or Sinn Féin have changed their name.
How do spot the Irishman at a cock fight.
He's the one holding the duck.
How do you know the mafia was involved.
The duck wins.
But on a similar theme:
How was copper wire invented?
Someone dropped a penny between two Scots.
(The Belgians tell the same joke about the Dutch, and I strongly suspect the Germans or Austrians do so about the Swiss.)
@shallow-blue saidI once met a Scottish Red Indian,
Wrong nationality starting with 'I', I think. Either that, or Sinn Féin have changed their name.
But on a similar theme:
How was copper wire invented?
Someone dropped a penny between two Scots.
(The Belgians tell the same joke about the Dutch, and I strongly suspect the Germans or Austrians do so about the Swiss.)
Hawk Aye the Noo.
@great-big-stees saidThe thread is titled "Jokes" GBS. Try to stay on topic.
Q: How much are pirate’s earrings?
A: A buccaneer.
@shallow-blue saidThe German and Austrian tell that about Suebians.
Wrong nationality starting with 'I', I think. Either that, or Sinn Féin have changed their name.
But on a similar theme:
How was copper wire invented?
Someone dropped a penny between two Scots.
(The Belgians tell the same joke about the Dutch, and I strongly suspect the Germans or Austrians do so about the Swiss.)
Another: A Rhinelander, a Bavarina dn a Suebian sit in a Beergarden.
Comes a fly and falls into the 0.3 Beer of the Rhinelander. He is upset and tells the waiter: "there is a fly in my beer". He gets a new one.
Comes a fly and falls into the Mass (1 l Beer) of the Bavarian. He look, pulls it out and throws it to the floor.
Comes a fly and falls into the Viertele (1/4 l wine) of the Suebian. He looks, takes the fly at the neck shakes it and shouts: "Spit it out!"
Why computers are like women:
- No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
- The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
- Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
@great-big-stees saidQ: Where's me buccaneers
Q: How much are pirate’s earrings?
A: A buccaneer.
A: On your bucking head.
- Joined
- 14 Mar 04
- Moves
- 205472
@mudfinger saidWell I laughed. Didn't you...or are you humourless? 😠
The thread is titled "Jokes" GBS. Try to stay on topic.
@torunn saidAhhh, which begets the obvious question, torrun,, can the computers communicate with blonds? 😆
Why computers are like women:
- No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
- The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
- Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.