Jokes

Why is donald j. trump always seen with Melania?
- Because all of his other wives support Elizabeth Warren.

Fear is the path to the dark side:
- Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to a republican Presidency.

Why does donald j. trump take Xanax?
- For Hispanic attacks.

What does donald j. trump say when he can't find his Viagra?
- "The erection is rigged!"

What's the difference between donald j. trump and Ronald Reagan?
- If trump gets Alzheimer's, his IQ will go up.

I was so drunk last night, when I walked across the dance floor to get another drink, I won the dance competition.

😲

@great-big-stees said
I was so drunk last night, when I walked across the dance floor to get another drink, I won the dance competition.

😲

I was so sober at a party last night, that a "wall flower" tried to lean up against me.

I've really got to work on this "flat affect".

@wolfe63 said
I was so sober at a party last night, that a "wall flower" tried to lean up against me.

I've really got to work on this "flat affect".

Eat lots of carbs, calories and don not, under any circumstances, exercise. Problem solved. 😉

All my life I thought air was free until I opened a back of chips.

I used to have super powers until my therapist took them away.


After all, no one should suffer from insanity. You should enjoy every minute of it!

Why is it that every time I'm single I see all the dating couples are happy and when I'm dating I see all the singles happy?

Just the other day a child a Sunday school was caught stealing a bike. When asked why he did it, he replied, "Well I could have prayed to get a bike but I know God does not work that way, so I stole the bike knowing I would ask for forgiveness."

A chess engine beat me the other day but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Annual joke tradition. Presume there's a few new members that might find this charming.

What nationality is Santa Claus?

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North Polish

Sticking with the Xmas theme...What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?







Twerky.

Democrats are like Christmas lights. They are costly, they hang together, half of them don't work, and none of them are particularly bright.

I never understood why they drop the ball every year on New Years Eve. Is it to remind me of what I've done the year prior or what is to come or both?

Why are jokes about conservatives getting dumber and dumber?
- Because Republicans have started to make them up themselves.

What do you get when you offer a member of the Republican Party a penny for his thoughts?
- Change.

What is the difference between a trumpian ass-kisser and a conservative brown-noser?
- Depth perception.

@wolfe63 said
Why are jokes about conservatives getting dumber and dumber?
- Because Republicans have started to make them up themselves.

What do you get when you offer a member of the Republican Party a penny for his thoughts?
- Change.

What is the difference between a trumpian ass-kisser and a conservative brown-noser?
- Depth perception.

Meh... only 10% funnier than whodey. Must try harder.