Jokes

Jokes

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Joined
31 Aug 06
Moves
40565
10 May 14

So the elephant ran into a camel, and started laughing hysterically.

- Why are you laughing?, asked the camel.
- It's just that I couldn't help but notice you've got your breasts on the back.
- Oh, well, look who's talking mister Penis-in-the-face.

(Yeah, it's an old one... 😞)

l

Joined
10 May 07
Moves
10128
10 May 14
1 edit

Originally posted by C Hess
lolof, hjälp!
You rang, sir - what can I do for you?



In short: Vad vill du?

l

Joined
10 May 07
Moves
10128
10 May 14
2 edits

Translation of an old Swedish joke:

How do hedgehogs mate?
Very carefully.


A very bad, old joke - I'm just trying to contribute.

p
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Lethabong

Joined
02 Apr 10
Moves
97661
10 May 14

Originally posted by lolof
You rang, sir - what can I do for you?



In short: Vad vill du?
Sir Lancelot sat in the bath, and rang for his butler. "James, please bring me a glass of water," Very well sir," and as he leaves the bathroom, sir Lancelot let it rip with quite a few bubbles. James comes back, with the glass, and a flask and a bottle of Bovril. " James, what is this?" "Sir, when I left the bathroom, I distinctly heard you say and-a-hot-waterbottle-and-a-bottle-of-Bovril"

p

Joined
27 Dec 05
Moves
143878
10 May 14

Bought a pair of tortoise skin shoes the other day ,took me 2 hours to get out the shop ..
Never having frogs legs again ...they kicked all my peas off my plate .

p

Joined
27 Dec 05
Moves
143878
11 May 14

Old hippy walking down the street when he stands on a bottle and the cork pops out ! , up pops a genie and says... " I am the Genie of the bottle and I grant you one wish "... The Hippy replies , " I wanna be up tight out'a sight and in the groove man " ... The Genie turned him into a Tampax .

PoPeYe

This is embarrasking

Joined
17 Nov 05
Moves
44152
11 May 14

A three legged dog walks into a bar and says I'm looking for the guy that shot my paw.

Joined
31 Aug 06
Moves
40565
12 May 14

Fresh in from the 60's:

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.

p

Joined
27 Dec 05
Moves
143878
12 May 14

Originally posted by C Hess
Fresh in from the 60's:

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
My scruffy mate went to the Doctors the other day and the Doctor asked him for a urine sample ,sperm sample and an excrement sample .The doctor then said .."to speed things up just leave your boxer shorts behind ".

Delicious Monster...

Joined
17 Sep 10
Moves
72857
13 May 14

Originally posted by phil3000
My scruffy mate went to the Doctors the other day and the Doctor asked him for a urine sample ,sperm sample and an excrement sample .The doctor then said .."to speed things up just leave your boxer shorts behind ".
The pancake was so angry, ... he flipped (duh)

s
Fast and Curious

slatington, pa, usa

Joined
28 Dec 04
Moves
53271
13 May 14

Originally posted by Mammy Blue
The pancake was so angry, ... he flipped (duh)
What did the bee sing when he left the car battery factory?


Leaded bee, leaded bee....

p
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Lethabong

Joined
02 Apr 10
Moves
97661
13 May 14

Originally posted by sonhouse
What did the bee sing when he left the car battery factory?


Leaded bee, leaded bee....
Why do women toot less than men? They talk much more, no time for pressure to build up... 😀

d

Joined
05 Jan 04
Moves
45179
13 May 14

Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street discussing current events. They walk past an all boys elementary school. The Priest turns to the Rabbi and says "Be honest. Don't you just want to f*** those boys there?" to which the rabbi replies "Yeah, but out of what?"

p
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Lethabong

Joined
02 Apr 10
Moves
97661
13 May 14

Originally posted by pawnpaw
Why do women toot less than men? They talk much more, no time for pressure to build up... 😀
The fly notices a small insect on himself. "Are u a mite?"
"I mite be."
"Aw that's a lame one"
"What do you expect, I made it up on the fly..."

p
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Lethabong

Joined
02 Apr 10
Moves
97661
15 May 14

Originally posted by sonhouse
What did the bee sing when he left the car battery factory?


Leaded bee, leaded bee....
Notice in coffee shop: No, we don't have wi-fi ! Talk to each other!