A man walked into a lawyer's office and said, "What are your rates?"
"50 dollars for three questions."
"Isn't that rather steep?"
"Yes," said the lawyer. "And what was your third question?"
A business man got on an elevator.
When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T.G.I.F"
He smiled at her and replied, "S.H.I.T"
She looked puzzled and repeated,
"T-G-I-F," more slowly.
He again answered,
"S-H-I-T."
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly,
"T-G-I-F."
The man smiled back to her and once again,
"S-H-I-T."
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.
'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank God, It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?"
The man answered,
"S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday'-- duuhhh.
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16 Mar '14 11:34>1 edit
apparently all the toilets in the new Scotland yard police HQ have been stolen a police spokesperson said they were mystified and so far had nothing to go on.
Originally posted by Ponderable Says the barkeep we don't serve faster than light particles.
Comes a tachyon into a bar.
Not far from my home is a Potash mine and over the years I have laid many floors in the offices but only found out a few months ago that deep beneath the north sea british researchers have a laboratory (BEEN DOWN THERE 20 YEARS) trying to capture tachyons and other particles that pass straight through the earth but so far nothing has been captured or registered.
Did you hear about the all you can eat buffet manager who had a heart attack? Seems he saw 40 members of the Samoan Sumo Wrestling league come in for lunch....
A bunch of YECs found a book on magic.
They chanted and asked for creation to be as described in genesis.
Brought a whole new meaning to the word sunburnt.