So my friend is a professional baseball player and he is all the time bragging about how it takes balls standing at the plate with baseballs whizzing by your head at 100 miles per hour. I told him I could top that. When it comes to sports, it takes far more balls to golf like me.
So I went to this bar the other day and as the bartender is pouring me a drink I tell him that I'm a socialist drinker. He replied, "Don't you mean a social drinker?", to which I said, "No, you are paying"
A French, a Polish adn a Russian dog talek to each other, says the French dog. If I bark I get some meat.
Says the Polish dog: What is meat?
Says teh Russian: Silyl dog don't you know meat. But what is "bark"?
@suziannesaid Forget that, how do we keep idiots out of the jokes thread?
..this is actually not funny at all 🙁
An old one (I heard it in the seventies and then some of the fun was already a bit dated):
A US and a Sowjet admrial boast About the submarines: Says the Sowjet: Our submarines can stay submerged for half a year.
Says the US admiral: Our can for a whole year.
Surfaces a Submarine, An old Kapitänleutnat sticks out his head and says: Heil Hitler! Has the war finished yet?"