Jokes

Cookies help us deliver our Services. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Jokes

Public Forums

Thread List Today's Posts Recommended Search

phil3000

General

27 Feb 14

Woofwoof

Joined: 06 Nov 15
Moves: 41301

21 Jun 20

1 edit

-1

@moonbus said
Elderly women don't need contraception. It's called menopause.

You know, you're right.
And elderly men find that they suffer paucity.

Can you imagine if the elderly were indeed able to breed? We'd have no paucity of little old people running the streets! 😀

Earl of Trumps

Pawn Whisperer

My Kingdom fora Pawn

Joined: 09 Jan 19
Moves: 18785

21 Jun 20

Ahhh, blond jokes. Ok.

How do you keep a blond in suspense?

Blonds click here for surprise answer --->

Torunn

Gothenburg

Joined: 11 Mar 16
Moves: 27087

21 Jun 20

1 edit

@earl-of-trumps said
Ahhh, blond jokes. Ok.

How do you keep a blond in suspense?

Blonds click here for surprise answer ---> [hidden] [/hidden]

I can hardly wait... 🙂

Earl of Trumps

Pawn Whisperer

My Kingdom fora Pawn

Joined: 09 Jan 19
Moves: 18785

21 Jun 20

:-) Hi Torunn. You like suspenseful stories? That's nice

Ponderable

chemist

Linkenheim

Joined: 22 Apr 05
Moves: 656934

21 Jun 20

@torunn said
I can hardly wait... 🙂

Great counterjoke.

and one for the record:

A Grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter…The Bartender looked at him and said, “We have a drink named after you”. The Grasshopper replied, “Who names a drink Steve?”

Torunn

Gothenburg

Joined: 11 Mar 16
Moves: 27087

21 Jun 20

@earl-of-trumps said
:-) Hi Torunn. You like suspenseful stories? That's nice

Love 'em. 🙂

fourfivesix

Joined: 28 Jul 07
Moves: 149439

23 Jun 20

My neighbour's really loud and obnoxious.

Now I know how Canada feels!

Earl of Trumps

Pawn Whisperer

My Kingdom fora Pawn

Joined: 09 Jan 19
Moves: 18785

24 Jun 20

@neilarini said
My neighbour's really loud and obnoxious.

Now I know how Canada feels!

Hey! I resemble that remark

fourfivesix

Joined: 28 Jul 07
Moves: 149439

25 Jun 20

Where do babybels come from?

A place where mummybels and daddybels love each other very much.

whodey

Joined: 02 Jan 06
Moves: 12857

26 Jun 20

-1

I was told to hate syrup and rice today.

Good God how I hate the news

whodey

Joined: 02 Jan 06
Moves: 12857

27 Jun 20

3 edits

-1

So this dyslexic man walks into a bra and a baby seal walks into a club

whodey

Joined: 02 Jan 06
Moves: 12857

27 Jun 20

1 edit

-1

So my wife says she loved cats and demanded we get a cat. Problem is, I hate cats.

So we compromised. We went to the pet store and got a cat.

whodey

Joined: 02 Jan 06
Moves: 12857

27 Jun 20

3 edits

-1

Never become friends with a grandmaster in chess. I had the misfortune of making friends with one once, and we had dinner at a restaurant that had checkered table cloths. It took him 2 damn hours to pass the salt and then talked a whole hour about how he did it afterwards.

whodey

Joined: 02 Jan 06
Moves: 12857

27 Jun 20

-1

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally

whodey

Joined: 02 Jan 06
Moves: 12857

27 Jun 20

2 edits

-1

Why is the real reason 6 is afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.

Sorry, the story about 7, 8, 9 is just fake news.

You know, politics and all.