Jokes

phil3000

General

27 Feb 14 18:01

Earl of Trumps

Pawn Whisperer

My Kingdom fora Pawn

Joined: 09 Jan 19
Moves: 22512

12 Mar 20 21:36

-1

The winner of the Nation Apple Pie Bakeoff wins a week's vacation to Wuhan.
2nd place gets a two week vacation to Wuhan 🙂

pawnpaw

Please Pay Attention

Lethabong

Joined: 02 Apr 10
Moves: 104063

13 Mar 20 06:38

I only learnt this week that my neighbour installed an electric fence...
I was quite shocked...

pawnpaw

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Lethabong

Joined: 02 Apr 10
Moves: 104063

13 Mar 20 06:40

Something else...
Does the following bother you so that you lie awake at night, pondering...
You buy a round pizza, delivered in a square box, then you eat triangles of it...

whodey

Joined: 02 Jan 06
Moves: 12857

13 Mar 20 14:53

I'm a little worried. I feel kind of achy, have a runny nose, and am starting to crave fried rice.

What should I do?

Shallow Blue

Joined: 18 Jan 07
Moves: 12477

13 Mar 20 19:35

@whodey said
I'm a little worried. I feel kind of achy, have a runny nose, and am starting to crave fried rice.

What should I do?

Go live in a commune with duchess64?

whodey

Joined: 02 Jan 06
Moves: 12857

13 Mar 20 20:13

-1

@shallow-blue said
Go live in a commune with duchess64?

You hate me, don't you.

Mammy Blue

Delicious Monster...

Joined: 17 Sep 10
Moves: 77148

14 Mar 20 13:57

A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery.
Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.
A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman."
"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners.
"As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife."

Shallow Blue

Joined: 18 Jan 07
Moves: 12477

14 Mar 20 16:59

@whodey said
You hate me, don't you.

I think you two would get on like a house on fire.

Shallow Blue

Joined: 18 Jan 07
Moves: 12477

14 Mar 20 17:00

@mammy-blue said
A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery.
Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.
A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman."
"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners.
"As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife."

I'll admit - I was expecting an eel-based joke.

Suzianne

Misfit Queen

Isle of Misfit Toys

Joined: 08 Aug 03
Moves: 37689

14 Mar 20 20:45

@shallow-blue said
I think you two would get on like a house on fire.

pawnpaw

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Lethabong

Joined: 02 Apr 10
Moves: 104063

15 Mar 20 13:21

-1

April Fools Day is cancelled cause no made up prank could match the unbelievable s##t going around in the world right now...

pawnpaw

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Lethabong

Joined: 02 Apr 10
Moves: 104063

15 Mar 20 13:22

-1

Chuck Norris has been exposed to the Corona virus...
The virus is now in quarantine for 14 days...

pawnpaw

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Lethabong

Joined: 02 Apr 10
Moves: 104063

17 Mar 20 10:27

1 edit

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a while, then said,
"You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asks... "What does that mean?"
He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot."
She smiled happily and said... "OH, that's so lovely... what about I, J, K?"
He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"
The swelling in his eye is going down, and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his family jewels.