Jokes

phil3000

General

27 Feb '14 18:01

Earl of Trumps
Pawn Whisperer
My Kingdom fora Pawn
Joined
09 Jan '19
Moves
18515
2 1
12 Mar '20 21:36
The winner of the Nation Apple Pie Bakeoff wins a week's vacation to Wuhan.
2nd place gets a two week vacation to Wuhan 🙂
pawnpaw
Please Pay Attention
Lethabong
Joined
02 Apr '10
Moves
96966
13 Mar '20 06:38
I only learnt this week that my neighbour installed an electric fence...
I was quite shocked...
pawnpaw
Please Pay Attention
Lethabong
Joined
02 Apr '10
Moves
96966
13 Mar '20 06:40
Something else...
Does the following bother you so that you lie awake at night, pondering...
You buy a round pizza, delivered in a square box, then you eat triangles of it...
whodey
Joined
02 Jan '06
Moves
12857
13 Mar '20 14:53
I'm a little worried. I feel kind of achy, have a runny nose, and am starting to crave fried rice.

What should I do?
Shallow Blue
Joined
18 Jan '07
Moves
12451
3
13 Mar '20 19:35
@whodey said
I'm a little worried. I feel kind of achy, have a runny nose, and am starting to crave fried rice.

What should I do?
Go live in a commune with duchess64?
whodey
Joined
02 Jan '06
Moves
12857
1
13 Mar '20 20:13
@shallow-blue said
Go live in a commune with duchess64?
You hate me, don't you.
Mammy Blue
Delicious Monster...
Joined
17 Sep '10
Moves
72283
4
14 Mar '20 13:57
A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery.
Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.
A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman."
"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners.
"As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife."
Shallow Blue
Joined
18 Jan '07
Moves
12451
2
14 Mar '20 16:59
@whodey said
You hate me, don't you.
I think you two would get on like a house on fire.
Shallow Blue
Joined
18 Jan '07
Moves
12451
2
14 Mar '20 17:00
@mammy-blue said
A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery.
Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.
A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman."
"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners.
"As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife."
I'll admit - I was expecting an eel-based joke.
Suzianne
Misfit Queen
Isle of Misfit Toys
Joined
08 Aug '03
Moves
36645
2
14 Mar '20 20:45
@shallow-blue said
I think you two would get on like a house on fire.
YouTube : Burning Down the House
pawnpaw
Please Pay Attention
Lethabong
Joined
02 Apr '10
Moves
96966
3 1
15 Mar '20 13:21
April Fools Day is cancelled cause no made up prank could match the unbelievable s##t going around in the world right now...
pawnpaw
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Lethabong
Joined
02 Apr '10
Moves
96966
5 1
15 Mar '20 13:22
Chuck Norris has been exposed to the Corona virus...
The virus is now in quarantine for 14 days...
pawnpaw
Please Pay Attention
Lethabong
Joined
02 Apr '10
Moves
96966
2
17 Mar '20 10:271 edit
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a while, then said,
"You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asks... "What does that mean?"
He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot."
She smiled happily and said... "OH, that's so lovely... what about I, J, K?"
He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"
The swelling in his eye is going down, and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his family jewels.
whodey
Joined
02 Jan '06
Moves
12857
1 1
18 Mar '20 15:31
Just remember, Corona is not the disease, it's the cure.
Woofwoof
Joined
06 Nov '15
Moves
41301
1
20 Mar '20 12:03
When life gives you a kick in the pants:
- There's always Quilted Northern Toilet Paper

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