Jokes

Jokes

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Delicious Monster...

Joined
17 Sep 10
Moves
72455
24 Feb 20

Definition of the word Tradition...
Peer pressure from dead people...

Joined
16 Feb 08
Moves
116984
25 Feb 20

Joined
16 Feb 08
Moves
116984
25 Feb 20

@torunn said
These poor blondes...
Pamela Anderson springs to my mind for some reason, although probably not for the reason you think I’m thinking...

Delicious Monster...

Joined
17 Sep 10
Moves
72455
25 Feb 20

Mike asks his doctor what he can do, as he suspects his wife is hard of hearing, maybe even stone deaf.
"Stand about fifteen meters away from her, and ask her what is for dinner. If you get no response, stand closer, about ten meters, and ask her again what is for dinner. If still no answer, go closer even, and ask again. If still no answer, go stand right next to her and ask."
Sure thing, he does that, and when he got right next to her, she answers," My goodness, Mike, for the fifth time, Chicken!"

p
Please Pay Attention

Lethabong

Joined
02 Apr 10
Moves
97172
25 Feb 20

Doctor: Do you watch your husband's face during sex?
Lady: I did once, and he looked very angry.
Doctor: Why?
Lady: Must be because he was watching from the window.

p
Please Pay Attention

Lethabong

Joined
02 Apr 10
Moves
97172
25 Feb 20

Me: When I donate blood, I do not extract it myself.
A nurse does it for me.
Receptionist: Yes, but this is a sperm bank and it doesn't work that way.

chemist

Linkenheim

Joined
22 Apr 05
Moves
656184
29 Feb 20

My dad signed me up for organ donation.
He's a man after my own heart.

Quiz Master

RHP Arms

Joined
09 Jun 07
Moves
48793
29 Feb 20

@pawnpaw
Husband: I'd like you to tell me when you are climaxing.
Wife: OK, but the phone might not be in reach.

Joined
06 Nov 15
Moves
41301
29 Feb 20

I was in the emergency room when a male student nurse pulled back the curtain to ask a female patient routine medical questions:

Student Nurse: "Have you ever had a hysterectomy?"

Patient: "Yes"

Student Nurse: "When?"

Patient: "In 2011"

Student Nurse: "Do you think that you could be pregnant?"

Patient: "Are you sure that this is the right career for you?"

Delicious Monster...

Joined
17 Sep 10
Moves
72455
29 Feb 20

Army instructor to cadet: " I DIDN'T SEE YOU AT CAMOUFLAGE PRACTICE TODAY!"
Cadet: "Thank you sir..."

Delicious Monster...

Joined
17 Sep 10
Moves
72455
02 Mar 20

We don't listen all that well...
Wife: "I can't find my keys!"
Hubby: "It's in your jeans."
Wife: " Don't you drag my family into this!"

a

Joined
02 Mar 20
Moves
0
02 Mar 20

ok

a

Joined
02 Mar 20
Moves
0
02 Mar 20

@FMF
ok

a

Joined
02 Mar 20
Moves
0
02 Mar 20

@sonhouse
ok

a

Joined
02 Mar 20
Moves
0
02 Mar 20

@Ponderable

ok