24 Jul 19
@moonbus saidI liked the ‘Last Metro’ a lot, very immersive and atmospheric both of which are hard to achieve in 800 words. It would make a very good 10 - 15 minute video if you ever develop that skill set.
I knew Stray Cat was a good story when I finished it. It has all the elements of a good horror plot: foreboding (nanny suspects something is wrong but is out of her depth to prevent the evil), innocence seduced and corrupted by evil in a pleasing disguise, a creepy twist at the end. Somewhat in the tradition of Algernon Blackwood, I think.
I was much less sure of The Last ...[text shortened]... ying mind, is left unclear, and deliberately so.
Thanks again to all for taking the time to read.
24 Jul 19
1 edit
@kevcvs57 saidYes, i could envision The Last Metro as the basis of a film - short, something like Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge.
I liked the ‘Last Metro’ a lot, very immersive and atmospheric both of which are hard to achieve in 800 words. It would make a very good 10 - 15 minute video if you ever develop that skill set.
The final scene would be reality check, the objective camera pans back from the body of the fallen person in the subway to reveal medics, defibrillator being removed from the person’s chest, body covered up by a sheet, aghast looks on faces of by-standers. Fade to black.
24 Jul 19
1 edit
@very-rusty saidAgreed. Just as not everyone can tell a joke. Even reading a script of a good joke isn’t quite enough. For a joke to work, the teller needs vocal skills to build expectation and burst the tension at the right moment. Without timing and intonation, even a good joke can be told wrong.
Lets face the truth of the FACT that not everyone can write a good story.
In fact I believe more people can't write a good story and than those who can.
I am impressed that we have so many good writers here on this Site.
-VR
24 Jul 19
@patzering saidWe can do that next year.
Stray cat was written the best I feel and so do a lot of others. I hope moonbus is a chick ๐ค
I instantly knew "Are you in there?" Was Ghost of a Duke and I thought it would win easily.
The plot was genius.
I also think the top 5 vote totals could have been shown and that would have been fine.
No reason to let everyone know that some stories didn't do well.
I myself wrote "You remember?" which got no votes, which was no wonder seeing the stories that went well.
24 Jul 19
@ponderable saidWas a noble effort sir.
We can do that next year.
I myself wrote "You remember?" which got no votes, which was no wonder seeing the stories that went well.
What happened to Big Stees this year?
24 Jul 19
@moonbus saidLots of good entries, but as already highlighted, I think Stray Cat was the best-written out of all the submissions (including my own). The reason I voted it 3rd rather than 1st was that I think it suffered by the word count restriction. A little more 'flesh on the bones' would have lifted it to another level. It was the kind of story that I think needed 'stretching out' to really push the sinister buttons. (Very difficult within 800 words).
I knew Stray Cat was a good story when I finished it. It has all the elements of a good horror plot: foreboding (nanny suspects something is wrong but is out of her depth to prevent the evil), innocence seduced and corrupted by evil in a pleasing disguise, a creepy twist at the end. Somewhat in the tradition of Algernon Blackwood, I think.
I was much less sure of The Last ...[text shortened]... ying mind, is left unclear, and deliberately so.
Thanks again to all for taking the time to read.
Curious sir what your views are on the other stories entered?
24 Jul 19
@moonbus saidI shall keep my peepers peeled to channel 4 for that one moonbus.
Yes, i could envision The Last Metro as the basis of a film - short, something like Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge.
The final scene would be reality check, the objective camera pans back from the body of the fallen person in the subway to reveal medics, defibrillator being removed from the person’s chest, body covered up by a sheet, aghast looks on faces of by-standers. Fade to black.
@moonbus saidThe Last Metro reminded me of the train scene from one of my favourite Japanese language movies, ๅใจๅๅฐใฎ็ฅ้ ใ.
I knew Stray Cat was a good story when I finished it. It has all the elements of a good horror plot: foreboding (nanny suspects something is wrong but is out of her depth to prevent the evil), innocence seduced and corrupted by evil in a pleasing disguise, a creepy twist at the end. Somewhat in the tradition of Algernon Blackwood, I think.
I was much less sure of The Last ...[text shortened]... ying mind, is left unclear, and deliberately so.
Thanks again to all for taking the time to read.
I believe the English title is "Spirited Away".
Here is the soundtrack from the scene:
@ghost-of-a-duke saidYour tongue-in-cheek story was quite amusing!
First, well done to Ponderable for a well run competition (as usual) and everyone who contributed and voted.
Congratulations to the author of 'Stray Cat' a splendidly well written piece. (And a front runner from the word go).
This year, in light of the high quality of entries, I am perfectly content with taking second place with my entry 'Vincent.' ๐
(I a ...[text shortened]... here?' which got more votes than I expected).
Look forward to discussing all the entries shortly.
I liked what you did with "Dusty" and "Phantom of a Marquis" (with the Scottish spelling, too!)
I enjoyed the satirical portmanteau of two of the forum's most notorious posters (if I interpreted it correctly).
Vincent was very well-written, and I wanted to write it as an honourable mention. I didn't make my top 3 because horror as a genre isn't my favourite (and "Vincent" was more horrifying than many others), not because it wasn't a fine piece of writing.
25 Jul 19
@ashiitaka saidMuch appreciated sir. Your interpretation was correct. (I'm still unclear if Rusty recognized the link).
Your tongue-in-cheek story was quite amusing!
I liked what you did with "Dusty" and "Phantom of a Marquis" (with the Scottish spelling, too!)
I enjoyed the satirical portmanteau of two of the forum's most notorious posters (if I interpreted it correctly).
Vincent was very well-written, and I wanted to write it as an honourable mention. I didn't make my top 3 beca ...[text shortened]... (and "Vincent" was more horrifying than many others), not because it wasn't a fine piece of writing.
Vincent was fun to write, but horror really isn't my genre. - My wife patiently read both stories and kindly informed me that neither was scary. ๐
25 Jul 19
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@ghost-of-a-duke saidMy daughters love really scary books/movies, I like some a bit less scary and most of my friends would never ever try them. 'Let The Right One In' by John Ajvide Lindqvist is both horror and love.
Much appreciated sir. Your interpretation was correct. (I'm still unclear if Rusty recognized the link).
Vincent was fun to write, but horror really isn't my genre. - My wife patiently read both stories and kindly informed me that neither was scary. ๐