Jokes

When the waiter boasted they served breakfast at any time. I asked for a bacon sandwich, during the Industrial Revolution.

@Ghost-of-a-Duke said
When the waiter boasted they served breakfast at any time. I asked for a bacon sandwich, during the Industrial Revolution.

@moonbus said
I’ll have waffles in the Renaissance.

Before my uncle died, we had his back covered with goose fat.
He went downhill fast after that.

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A holly davidson

A turkey was about to cross the road.

"Don't do it!" shouted the chicken. "You'll never hear the end of it."

My wife threw a box of Omega 3 capsules at me. I received super fish oil injuries.

@AlanTal said
My wife threw a box of Omega 3 capsules at me. I received super fish oil injuries.

a doctor had his Rx pad stolen
next day he gets a call from the pharmacy about a suspicious script
"mofine - i pound - to go"

he has it framed on his wall

i'm gonna quit drinking coffee for good this time
and begin to drink coffee for evil

gonna buy a time machine next sunday because they just don't make them like they're going to

If one door closes and another one opens, your house is haunted dude, and you need to run.

if i ever catch rabies
you on my bitin' list

I've invented an air freshener that can be activated by the power of the mind.
It makes scents if you think about it.

when i lived in st louis i worked at a liquor store that had a delicatessen built right in
smart
once i hitchhiked thru milwaukee and stopped to wash some clothes and it turned out that the guy who owned the laundromat also owned the bar next door
SMART
when i lived in kentucky there was this guy who owned a pizzeria and mortuary
odd combo but the pizza was edible

until one of the locals told me his ovens did double duty