Jokes

Jokes

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Mar-a-Lago

Joined
02 Aug 11
Moves
8962
26 Nov 17

Originally posted by @whodey
The Holiday seasons brought this gem to mind

What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?





Outlaws are wanted.
🙂

p

Joined
27 Dec 05
Moves
143878
29 Nov 17

Little north American Indian boy asks his mother ." why do they call sitting bull ,sitting bull ?
" Well son, when young sitting bulls mother was in labour she noticed a bull sitting down in front of her tepee so she decided to call her son sitting bull " she told her son .
" Mum ,mum ,why do they call crazy horse ,crazy horse ? " the son asked .
" Well son ,when crazy horses mother was about to give birth a crazy horse ran passed her tepee so she decided it was a good name to call her son ,hence crazy horse "
" Mum, mum , why do they call running water running water ?"
" Well son ,when running waters mother was about to give birth there was a heavy downpour and a stream formed and ran past her tepee so she decided to call her son running water "
" Mum ,mum " the son was about to ask his mother a question when his mother lent over and said .." now listen son its time for bed and we will have no more questions for tonight, so good night wet dog licking balls "

s
Fast and Curious

slatington, pa, usa

Joined
28 Dec 04
Moves
53223
29 Nov 17

Originally posted by @phil3000
Little north American Indian boy asks his mother ." why do they call sitting bull ,sitting bull ?
" Well son, when young sitting bulls mother was in labour she noticed a bull sitting down in front of her tepee so she decided to call her son sitting bull " she told her son .
" Mum ,mum ,why do they call crazy horse ,crazy horse ? " the son asked .
" We ...[text shortened]... e for bed and we will have no more questions for tonight, so good night wet dog licking balls "
I heard it was 'two dogs fukking'🙂

Already mated

Omaha, Nebraska, USA

Joined
04 Jul 06
Moves
1115087
29 Nov 17

Originally posted by @wolfgang59
That was a bit flat.
I got a charge out of it

s
Fast and Curious

slatington, pa, usa

Joined
28 Dec 04
Moves
53223
29 Nov 17
1 edit

Originally posted by @coquette
I got a charge out of it
There was electricity in the air all night though, told in that famous book
Current events in Electra City written by that famous blues man, Lightning Hopkins!
There was a lot of resistance getting it published however.
The press accused Lightning Hopkins of not having enough of a magnetic character to be writing such deep essays.
He was the light of my life though no doubt about it.
He was like a man on a high voltage wire to me.
He also wrote a short version of the main story and sold it to Readers Digest.
There were however, batteries of complaints about the book.
'Book didn't flow for me' one reviewer wrote.
"He was outstanding in his field' one fan wrote.
I made a short circuit to the bookstore after I read that fan mail.

Already mated

Omaha, Nebraska, USA

Joined
04 Jul 06
Moves
1115087
29 Nov 17

Originally posted by @sonhouse
There was electricity in the air all night though, told in that famous book
Current events in Electra City written by that famous blues man, Lightning Hopkins!
There was a lot of resistance getting it published however.
The press accused Lightning Hopkins of not having enough of a magnetic character to be writing such deep essays.
He was the light of ...[text shortened]... n his field' one fan wrote.
I made a short circuit to the bookstore after I read that fan mail.
Wow, one small step and then whirled by a dervish. Whew!

s
Fast and Curious

slatington, pa, usa

Joined
28 Dec 04
Moves
53223
29 Nov 17

Originally posted by @coquette
Wow, one small step and then whirled by a dervish. Whew!
One small step for a mannequin....

Already mated

Omaha, Nebraska, USA

Joined
04 Jul 06
Moves
1115087
30 Nov 17

Originally posted by @sonhouse
One small step for a mannequin....
One giant leap for femdom

Joined
18 Jan 07
Moves
12469
30 Nov 17

Originally posted by @coquette
One giant leap for femdom
Oo-er, miss!

s
Fast and Curious

slatington, pa, usa

Joined
28 Dec 04
Moves
53223
30 Nov 17

Originally posted by @coquette
One giant leap for femdom
And you measured that effect no doubt with a femdometer, which lately have been giving high readings.

b

Joined
11 Jul 06
Moves
20179
30 Nov 17
1 edit

Originally posted by @sonhouse
And you measured that effect no doubt with a femdometer, which lately have been giving high readings.
.

p

Joined
27 Dec 05
Moves
143878
30 Nov 17

Originally posted by @sonhouse
I heard it was 'two dogs fukking'🙂
I tried that and it wouldn't get past the moderators ...😠

s
Fast and Curious

slatington, pa, usa

Joined
28 Dec 04
Moves
53223
30 Nov 17

Originally posted by @phil3000
I tried that and it wouldn't get past the moderators ...😠
Just make it fuk or fukk, that gets past.

ook

hirsute rooster

Joined
13 Apr 05
Moves
20493
30 Nov 17

Anyone come across the recent research that has shown people having two or three cups of coffee per day live longer than non coffee drinkers?

Well, I've been doing my own research and have concluded that having two or preferably three large glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a shlt.

Already mated

Omaha, Nebraska, USA

Joined
04 Jul 06
Moves
1115087
01 Dec 17

Originally posted by @billyray
.
Was that a pointed remark?