@fmfsaid If shallow people say shallow things to each other when they meet, what does it matter what words they use? The problem is not the question "How are you?" Itself being shallow.
You can actually say whatever you want to whomever you choose. How you are seen in the society you inhabit is up to you.
@suziannesaid That you see it as somehow an opportunity to gather information says much more about you than her.
The fact that I use the expression "How are you?" to gather information about the person I am talking to says a lot about me: it says I am not shallow when I use it, which means the expression "How are you?" is not shallow in and of itself.
@fmfsaid The fact that I use the expression "How are you?" to gather information about the person I am talking to says a lot about me: it says I am not shallow when I use it, which means the expression "How are you?" is not shallow in and of itself.
Strange as it may sound to you, I don't maneuver through my day with the intention of gathering information from people. If this is how you choose to represent yourself, so be it.
@suziannesaid It is a banal greeting not meant to elicit information, and any information actually given is blown off as unimportant, especially as it is most often used between people who do not know each other well.
You sound like you are only talking about people using the expression "How are you?" in a shallow way. What about when the expression "How are you?" is not used in a shallow way?
@suziannesaid Strange as it may sound to you, I don't maneuver through my day with the intention of gathering information from people. If this is how you choose to represent yourself, so be it.
If I talk with family, friends, colleagues and others and greet them with the expression "How are you?" it isn't meant in a shallow way. It is a genuine question.
"Hi, I am so sorry to hear about the death in your family; is there anything I can do to help?"
There's a sentence/question that can be said with shallow/insincere motive. It doesn't make the words themselves shallow. The expression "How are you?" Is not shallow in and of itself.
@suziannesaid I will still say "How are you?" to people as a basic, perfunctory greeting, especially if I don't know them. In America, we consider it far more rude to not greet at all, and so it seems this greeting has developed to fill that gap, and indeed, it is common to say "fine" or "good" or something along these lines (I used to say "Hanging in there" and the other would nod - nothing more need be said). I'll often add, "Thanks for asking."
I was boarding a flight a few years ago and after I asked back, "And how are you doing?" the boarding agent said flatly, "Just living the dream." 😉
Near to where I live the standard greeting upon meeting someone or picking up the phone is 'Allright'. The actual meaning of the word seems to have been lost and the correct reply to 'Allright' is 'Allright'.
One day when asked this question I intend to answer differently and I imagine the conversation to go something like this:
Person I meet: Allright
Me: Well actually I have recently been diagnosed with liver cancer
PIM: But your allright.
Me: I have just lost my job as a result of being ill and my house is being repossessed.
PIM: But your allright
Me: My wife has left me and taken our daughter with her.
PIM: But your allright
Me: When I get home I intend to hang myself.
PIM: But your allright though
Me: Yeah allright
PIM: Brilliant, great to hear your allright, I'm allright, catch you later.
@suziannesaid I will still say "How are you?" to people as a basic, perfunctory greeting, especially if I don't know them. In America, we consider it far more rude to not greet at all, and so it seems this greeting has developed to fill that gap, and indeed, it is common to say "fine" or "good" or something along these lines (I used to say "Hanging in there" and the other would nod - n ...[text shortened]... ey've had some difficulty, I might say, "How're you holding up?" followed by "Do you need anything?"
'How you doing' brings up images of Joey Tribbiani.
17 Jul '21 11:30
How are you today?
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