Inspired by the television program mock the week - unlikely things to find in the bible.

I'll start:

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy.

😉

Is that a thorn in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

There's all 14 commandments, now are you going to remember them all?

Originally posted by Bad wolf
Inspired by the television program mock the week - unlikely things to find in the bible.

I'll start:

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy.

😉

When God said: 'let there be light'
Chuck Norris said: 'Please'.

"Once upon a time... "

(Rather than "In the beginning." Though I know of a rabbi who translated the opening words exactly that way...)

The word "supernatural" does not appear in the bible.

You can take slaves from neighbouring nations.

Edit: Oops! That's already in there. 😉

Originally posted by Bad wolf
You can take slaves from neighbouring nations.

Edit: Oops! That's already in there. 😉

Originally posted by Bad wolf
There's all 14 commandments, now are you going to remember them all?

Originally posted by josephw
The word "supernatural" does not appear in the bible.

Jesus making a false prediction.

Jesus predicts that he will be "in the heart of the earth" for three days and three nights. If by this he meant that he would be in the tomb for three days and three nights, then either he was mistaken or the gospels are in error. Because according to the gospels (this is one of the few things they all seem to agree on), Jesus was in the tomb for only one day and two nights. [Matthew] 12:40

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/abs/nt.html

And Jesus woke up! It was all a horrific nightmare!

Facts and or logical truths. (i.e - that can be substantiated)

Originally posted by Bad wolf
And Jesus woke up! It was all a horrific nightmare!