Sermon Competition

Originally posted by pritybetta
I am afraid he is right, if no one else is going to compete please let us know so we can declare Doc. Scribbles as the winner. 😉

It is far too early. I know Josephw is cracking open books from his theological library. I fully expect an appearance from Hand of Hercate. We still have a week of preparation left.

Originally posted by kirksey957
It is far too early. I know Josephw is cracking open books from his theological library. I fully expect an appearance from Hand of Hercate. We still have a week of preparation left.

I know, I was only trying to keep the thread alive so others may see it, and to encourage others to try and compete as well.

I wish folks would quit with the exteraneous postings. I'm trying to concentrate. 😉

*cracks whip* back to work you😠😛

Today I want to talk politics with you's all.
Some say our war on the camel jockey's in the middle-East is righteous!
Some say our hunt for Bin Laden has our Lord's backing!
Some say because they started it, we should finish it!

But let me tell you...
There is no righteousness in killing! Ever! (amen)
Our Lord does not back us hunting any soul, hell bound or not! (amen)
This is not "Mastermind", the BBC is not our arena, and God, and God alone, will determine who finishes what and when! (amen)

There was a Mount and upon that said Mount there was a sermon.
And in that said sermon Jesus, our Saviour, did lay bare the truth for all us sinners to hear:

You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

- Matthew 5:38 through 42 -

Now, I ain't no fool. Am I a fool? (no)
But I am a sinner! Am I a sinner? (yes)
And you are a sinner! Are you a sinner? (yes)
And even our president is a sinner. Is our president a sinner? (yes)

And no man stands above the Lord God!
And no man has the right to doubt the Lord God's word!
And no sinner stands above the Lord God!
And no sinner has the right to doubt the Lord God's word!
And Jesus told us the Lord God's word!
And no sinner should doubt the word of Jesus, for it is the Lord God's word!

An eye for an eye.
A tooth for a tooth.

You've heard this rhetoric before. You've heard the wisest men at the head of the greatest country ever to exist use this rhetoric before. You have even read this rhetoric in the old testament.
And the old testament was written in a time when things had to be made clear.
The old testament is the basis for the Jews. The Muslims. The Christians.
But God saw how we interpreted his word. And God saw that what we was doing was wrong. And God was not happy. No Sirree, God was not pleased at how we thought we knew how to interpret His word.

And God sent us His Son.
Jesus Christ was sent to us to make sure we did understand the word as God meant it.

And Jesus makes it clear for all who listen.
And Jesus said: "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."

It is not for us sinners to decide who is right and who is wrong.
It is not for us sinners to declare wars of vengeance.
It is not for us sinners to think we have a right to make God's decisions for Him! (amen)

When Bin Laden attacked us, we should have given him an extra aeroplane and told him: "Please Bin Laden, kill more of our civilians who have done you nothing."

When Bin Laden destroyed our buildings in New York, we should have asked him where he wanted us to build him a skyscraper of his own.

When Saddam didn't do as we wanted him to, we should have asked him what he wanted us to do instead.

And Jesus our Saviour and God our Lord are right!
By taking an eye for an eye, have we made the world a better place?
By taking a tooth for a tooth, do we feel any better?
By ignoring the word of Jesus on the Mount, are we closer to God or are we exactly that which he does not want us to be?

Our actions in the Middle-East may be for revenge.
Our actions in the Middle-East may be about oil.
Our actions in the Middle-East may be about building contracts.
Difficult to see the goals of those who say they are our leaders are.
Misted are the aims of those who profit from the situation we have made are.

But clear is the word of our Lord God!
And clear is the word of our Saviour Jesus Christ on this matter!

It is for God to judge the actions of evil. Not for us.
And by judging for ourselves, we become that very evil that God will judge. And his judgement will be harsh and his punishment will be severe!

Let us pray by other words Jesus, our Saviour, used during that very same sermon on that very same mount:

Our Father, who art in heaven
hallowed be thy Name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

Originally posted by kirksey957
It is far too early. I know Josephw is cracking open books from his theological library. I fully expect an appearance from Hand of Hercate. We still have a week of preparation left.

I'm working on it. Still, after being robbed in the last two competitions, I need to carefully craft my submission to crush my competition. I feel the spirit of Billy Bob Blackhand stirring in my nether regions.

Just a reminder that the deadline for entries is Saturday at midnight.

Originally posted by shavixmir
Today I want to talk politics with you's all.
Some say our war on the camel jockey's in the middle-East is righteous!
Some say our hunt for Bin Laden has our Lord's backing!
Some say because they started it, we should finish it!

But let me tell you...
There is no righteousness in killing! Ever! (amen)
Our Lord does not back us hunting any s ...[text shortened]... ne is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

I don't pretend to like many sermons, but that was AMAZING!!! 😀 😀

Never have I heard such a politically amazing plus enlightening sermon! Your intelligence is obviously not limited to debates, my Dutch friend.

Originally posted by kirksey957
The deadline for the entries in the '08 sermon competition will be midnight on Saturday August 2nd. Don't ask about timezone shizzle as I ain't got time for that kind of stuff. They should be 5-7 minutes in length. They should have a passage to correspond to the message which is not part of the 5-7 minutes. They will be judged on integrity with the pa ...[text shortened]... what to preach.

This competition is proudly sponsored by the BWA-Ivory Tower coalition.

Yeah! Looking forward to the reading. 😀

Originally posted by kirksey957
The deadline for the entries in the '08 sermon competition will be midnight on Saturday August 2nd. Don't ask about timezone shizzle as I ain't got time for that kind of stuff. They should be 5-7 minutes in length. They should have a passage to correspond to the message which is not part of the 5-7 minutes. They will be judged on integrity with the pa ...[text shortened]... what to preach.

This competition is proudly sponsored by the BWA-Ivory Tower coalition.

The Reverend Billy Bob Blackhand grips the cracked podium gently with both hands and stares out across his gathering congregation. He brushes imaginary dust off the threadbare lapels of his black jacket and reflects upon the people he ministers to. These are good people, farmers, auto mechanics, diner waitresses and other simple mid western folk. Sadly, times have been hard and many are turning to or away from the church in frustration. Billy Bob pats the worn leather of his bible and asks God to help him support his flock in this time of uncertainty.

With his head bowed, Billy Bob clears his throat loudly and in a soft voice says, "My Brothers and Sisters, let me tell you of God's good works." He pauses for a moment to let his congregation settle in and says, in a deeper voice,"Let me tell you of God's promise of spiritual victory. Open your ears to the story of Joshua and the city of Jericho."

"Jericho is the oldest continuously inhabited city in the world, the sandled feet of man have beaten its streets for 11,000 years. In the time of Joshua, Son of Nun, Jericho stood in undisputed dominion of the land of the Cannanites." Joshua, as Moses's successor was tasked by God to lead the people of Isreal to the promised land, to guide them spiritualy and make the strong in the face of their enemies."

"Joshua's people, much as we are now, were hard pressed and surround by enemies on all sides. There conquest of the lands of Cannan seemed doomed to failure, the mighty river Jordan stood inftront of them and blasted desert stood to their backs. Still, Joshua and the tribe of Ephrain were a people hardened by toil and their deep faith in God would deliver them. God came to Joshua and told him, 'Concecrate yourselves, for tomorrow, the Lord will do wonders amongst you.' (Joshua 3:5) and Joshua went amongst his people and prepared them for the coming works of God."

"In the coming days, the Isrealites witnessed great miricales. God stopped the flow of the River Jordan, much as he parted the Red Sea, and ushered Joshua into the land of Cannan. With the Jordan now at their backs, the Isrealites were faced with the high walls of Jericho bristling with the spears of their enemies."

"Again the people of Joshua would not be shaken in their faith and God crushed the walls of Jericho with a might horn blast. The Isrealites swept into the city and put it to the sword. They slaughtered every living thing and burned the city to the ground."

"Just as with Joshua, God has made you the same promise of spiritual victory. God is our salvation and to claim this promise requires a commitment to carnage and obedience. We must follow the Lord's battle plan with dedication and purpose. We must set ourselves apart from those unwilling to make sacrifices and bear the burden of hard times for God's glory. Just as with Joshua we too must sanctify ourselves and dedicate our lives to following God's Word."

"To survive these hard times and be victorious over our enemies, we must stregthen our faith in the Lord so we obey the command to be strong and courageous. We must meditate on the Word of God so that we are careful to obey completely. Perhaps most importantly we must focus on our vision of God's victory. But, I caution you. my Brothers and Sisters, this is no time for half measures, no time to step tentitvely into the river Jordan. We must commit to faith and cross the Jordan, not just get our feet wet. Do these things and Victory will be your gift from God."

"Now my Brothers and Sisters join me in the Lord's prayer. God is with us today as we dwell on the story of his humble servant Joshua. May God's victory be yours today and forever after. Let us pray."

Billy Bob Blackhand clasps his hands, and smiles gently as he reviews his gathered flock. He reflects that he's lucky to be able to touch such old souls and that, in some way, they have healed spiritually as much as he hopes to heal them.

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
The Reverend Billy Bob Blackhand grips the cracked podium gently with both hands and stares out across his gathering congregation. He brushes imaginary dust off the threadbare lapels of his black jacket and reflects upon the people he ministers to. These are good people, farmers, auto mechanics, diner waitresses and other simple mid western folk. S ...[text shortened]... , they have healed spiritually as much as he hopes to heal them.

I thought this was a sermon competition, not a fictional stories competition! 😕

Originally posted by josephw
I thought this was a sermon competition, not a fictional stories competition! 😕

Same thing, the Bible's chock full of fiction. Plus, half the battle's in delivery.

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Same thing, the Bible's chock full of fiction. Plus, half the battle's in delivery.

So I've heard. It's too bad you think so.

Originally posted by josephw
So I've heard. It's too bad you think so.

Note I didn't say all of it. Perhaps I'm not a total loss right? For example, I don't buy that God smote the walls of Jericho with trumpets. A good ol' earthquake or some of Joshua's seige engines is more likely. This was, I'm sure accompanied by trumpets.

Originally posted by DoctorScribbles
"In There"

A Sermon by Doctor S, submitted for consideration in the first round of
the second annual BWA-Ivory Tower Sermon Competition, in memory of
his service on the judges panel when he was sorely disappointed in the
entries submitted for his topic Fire and Brimstone.


"The angels shall cast them into a blazing furnace ng you were somewhere else: ultimately the only somewhere else
to be is "in there."

In other words.

"Stop whining. God could really hurt you if he wanted. You're lucky he's spared you so far."