- Joined
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- 100919
RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is
recalling all units manufactured, regardless of
make or year, due to a serious defect in the
primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original
prototype units code named Adam and Eve,
resulting in the reproduction of the same defect
in all subsequent units. This defect has been
identified as "Subsequential Internal Non-
morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as
it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at
fault for this defect, is providing factory-
authorized repair and service free of charge
to correct this defect. The Repair Technician,
JESUS, has most generously offered to bear
the entire burden of the staggering cost of
these repairs. There is no additional fee
required. The number to call for repair in all
areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected,
please upload your burden of SIN through
the REPENTANCE procedure. Next,
download ATONEMENT from the Repair
Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect
is, Jesus will replace it with his spirit that will then bare such fruit as:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self-control
Please see the operating manual, the
B.I.B.L.E.(BEST Instructions Before Leaving
Earth) for further details on the use of these
fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the
human being unit without correction voids
any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit
to dangers and problems too numerous to list,
and will result in the human unit being
permanently impounded. For free emergency
service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not
responding to this recall action will have to be
scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not
be permitted to enter Heaven so as to
prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you
for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by
notifying others of this important recall notice,
and you may contact the Father any time by
'Knee mail'!
Because HE Lives!
Originally posted by checkbaiter"The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect..."
RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is
recalling all units manufactured, regardless of
make or year, due to a serious defect in the
primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original
prototype units code named Adam and Eve,
resulting in the reproduction of the same defect
in all subsequent uni ...[text shortened]... recall notice,
and you may contact the Father any time by
'Knee mail'!
Because HE Lives!
Uh...I beg to differ. The Manufacturer knew beforehand that his design was defective. He knew that it would have to be recalled. But he built it to those specifications anyway. The product behaved exactly as it was designed to. Therefore the manufacturer is directly responsible and liable for ALL damages done.
Originally posted by rwingettThis could be one massive class action against the Manufacturer!
[b]"The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect..."
Uh...I beg to differ. The Manufacturer knew beforehand that his design was defective. He knew that it would have to be recalled. But he built it to those specifications anyway. The product behaved exactly as it was designed to. Therefore the manufacturer is directly responsible and liable for ALL damages done.[/b]
No wonder he has gone to ground!
Originally posted by rwingettIncorrect!
[b]"The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect..."
Uh...I beg to differ. The Manufacturer knew beforehand that his design was defective. He knew that it would have to be recalled. But he built it to those specifications anyway. The product behaved exactly as it was designed to. Therefore the manufacturer is directly responsible and liable for ALL damages done.[/b]
The original prototype(Adam)was flawless in design and manufacturing as evidenced by his innate ability of volition, including the fact that he was given advanced warning not to make the fatal choice, upon which all warranties were made nil and void.
- Joined
- 29 Dec 08
- Moves
- 6788
Originally posted by josephwThe so-called "prototype" would force the sacrifice of a member of the maker's family. The only Son. Who also happened to be the Father. I can imagine the Son saying "Dad, you know what's going to happen." "I have a plan for that eventuality." "Yeah, and I don't like it."
Incorrect!
The original prototype(Adam)was flawless in design and manufacturing as evidenced by his innate ability of volition, including the fact that he was given advanced warning not to make the fatal choice, upon which all warranties were made nil and void.
This "recall" metaphor/analogy is pretty lame, but it is instructive about the use of such rhetorical devices.
Originally posted by JS357"Force" how? You're making an assumption. Whether or not the manufacturer knew the prototype would make the fatal choice doesn't make the "product" exempt from liability.
The so-called "prototype" would force the sacrifice of a member of the maker's family.
That the manufacturer would then freely offer repair of the self inflicted defect only serves to demonstrate the manufacturers sincere love for the product.
- Joined
- 29 Dec 08
- Moves
- 6788
Originally posted by josephwLoving the product is not a sane defense, and I have both run corporate "recall meetings" and testified in product liability trials.
"Force" how? You're making an assumption. Whether or not the manufacturer knew the prototype would make the fatal choice doesn't make the "product" exempt from liability.
That the manufacturer would then freely offer repair of the self inflicted defect only serves to demonstrate the manufacturers sincere love for the product.
Perhaps, if we want to keep this going, the metaphor would work better if the legal issue is like child endangerment/neglect/abuse.
But exposing the child, with foreknowledge, to an attractive nuisance, could be a problem. I would advise the client to plea bargain.
Originally posted by JS357The manufacturer isn't the one on trial. The product, which is a replica of the creator of the product, with the same attribute of volition, is accountable for his own choices and subsequently on trial for failure to follow parameters of use.
Loving the product is not a sane defense, and I have both run corporate "recall meetings" and testified in product liability trials.
Perhaps, if we want to keep this going, the metaphor would work better if the legal issue is like child endangerment/neglect/abuse.
But exposing the child, with foreknowledge, to an attractive nuisance, could be a problem. I would advise the client to plea bargain.
Originally posted by josephwThe original prototype was given the choice of freewill (allegedly). The designer knew beforehand all the choices the prototype would make, including the one choice he didn't want it to make. The designer went ahead with that particular design anyway. Therefore the designer is liable for all damages.
Incorrect!
The original prototype(Adam)was flawless in design and manufacturing as evidenced by his innate ability of volition, including the fact that he was given advanced warning not to make the fatal choice, upon which all warranties were made nil and void.
Originally posted by josephwWhat if the manufacturer knew full well in advance that the "parameters of use" would not be followed and would warrant a 'product recall'? Is the manufacturer still not accountable?
The manufacturer isn't the one on trial. The product, which is a replica of the creator of the product, with the same attribute of volition, is accountable for his own choices and subsequently on trial for failure to follow parameters of use.
edit: Oh, I see rwingett has beaten me to it on this point