Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
For the last 2 years, our local Chess Club has been plagued by a Phantom Pooper. Someone has been stalking tournaments, club social events and informal Chess gatherings... lurking if you will and just waiting for an opportunity to pinch a loaf somewhere inappropriate. Despite attempts to beef up security (including 2 cameras) the Phantom Pooper rema filled with tension... anybody could be the Mad Pooper and anyone could be his next victim.
I read about that guy on Chess Base! Amazing!
Once when I was in a tournament, I got paired up against this guy who had kind of a reputation for bad sportsmanship. He seemed like a decent enough guy though, and I try to keep my emotions in check (no pun intended) during a chess match.
Anyway, he was a pretty strong player and I was obviously out of my league (I was playing in the open section and he was rated a couple hundred points above me). We played through the opening fairly quickly. It was the French Defense, an opening I'm pretty familiar with. By about move 15 though, the position became totally unfamiliar. He'd taken us out of the book and had several threats developing.
Fortunately, I recognized this and took precautions. I managed to save a knight which I was sure would soon be a goner, but by about 5 moves later , he was up by 2 pawns and had several pieces bearing down on my inadequately defended rook.
At that point, I started to feel desperate! After several moves of highly aggressive play, I'd managed to back his queen into a corner. It wasn't quite trapped, but it was threatened, and only had one escape square. At that point, my opponent adavanced his pawn, forking my knight and bishop. He completely missed the queen threat!
Well, needless to say, I took the queen and he was furious! He slammed his fist down on the table and stormed out of the room with his clock running. I just sat there dumbfounded until finally, he returned to the table, now sweating profusely.
He made the obvious next move, taking my knight, and I sat and pondered my move in a game that was surely won. While I sat there, concentrating on the board, I noticed that my opponent was fondling himself. At first, I thought that maybe he was just taking care of an itch, but soon I realized it was much more. As the game went on, the fondling became more and more aggressive and was soon accompanied by heavy breathing and soft moans.
Needless to say, it was very distracting! A few moves later, my opponent left the board for what I assumed was a restroom break and didn't come back for 10 minutes or so. Then he returned and resumed his disturbing behavior while he sat and thought about his next move. At that point, I'd had enough! I decided to get up and notify the tournament director. When I found him, he seemed preoccupied, settling another matter, so I decided to pay a visit to the men's room. The light was off when I opened the door, and as I groped about for the lightswitch, I noticed an awful stench. As soon as the lights came on, I noticed that my opponent had "fingerpainted" every move of our game on the bathroom wall. The game included his own annotation peppered with all sorts of expletives.
When I returned to the tournament hall, my opponent was gone and I was informed that he'd resigned the game and walked out. At the end of the day, when I walked out to my car, I noticed a small booger on the car door handle.
To this day, I'm still not sure whose it was, but I have my suspicions.