Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.
Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ol' big Jim and the twins with a quick once over. Worked like a charm. Smooth and silky soft with clean edging. Picasso would have been proud.
The first three goes went great, but, I guess I got a little complacent on try number 4. The shaver snagged my nutsack and savaged it unmercifully. Upon pulling it free I managed to stab Big Jim and almost sawed him off at the root. Needless to say, my jumbles looked like they'd been hit with a weedwacker. The bleeding was impressive and I left big bloody dong prints in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.
Consider this a public service announcement.
Originally posted by @hand-of-hecateif the result had been fatal or resulted in sterilization , you would have gotten a Darwin award
Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.
Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.
Consider this a public service announcement.
I see an award coming!
11 May 18
Originally posted by @hand-of-hecateMy legs just went wobbly. 😕
Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.
Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.
Consider this a public service announcement.
11 May 18
Originally posted by @hand-of-hecateObviously you need a steady hand, Hand.
Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.
Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.
Consider this a public service announcement.
11 May 18
Originally posted by @hand-of-hecateYou are certainly not being boastful by telling us you left big bloody dong prints on your wife's best bath towels. 😉
The first three goes went great, but, I guess I got a little complacent on try number 4. The shaver snagged my nutsack and savaged it unmercifully. Upon pulling it free I managed to stab Big Jim and almost sawed him off at the root. Needless to say, my jumbles looked like they'd been hit with a weedwacker. The bleeding was impressive and I left big b ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.
Consider this a public service announcement.
Originally posted by @hand-of-hecateCouldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Hope that means you will be able to spread your suspicious genes to anyone else. Hopefully you have not reproduced yet. Save the race! Don't reproduce.
Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.
Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.
Consider this a public service announcement.
11 May 18
Originally posted by @hand-of-hecateI appreciate the warning sir. I was about to carry out the same 'tidy up' procedure with the giant electric sheers from the garden shed, but am now questioning whether or not that is the best way to proceed.
Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.
Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.
Consider this a public service announcement.
11 May 18
Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-dukeLOL...So you don't want to wind up with a big bloody dong on your hands!!! 😉
I appreciate the warning sir. I was about to carry out the same 'tidy up' procedure with the giant electric sheers from the garden shed, but am now questioning whether or not that is the best way to proceed.
Well, we only have your word on that one! 😛
-VR
11 May 18
Originally posted by @very-rustyHe (if indeed IT is a he) is undoubtedly putting out a BS post just to see the reactions.
LOL...So you don't want to wind up with a big bloody dong on your hands!!! 😉
Well, we only have your word on that one! 😛
-VR
11 May 18
2 edits
Originally posted by @sonhouseAre we talking about Goad or Hand here?
He (if indeed IT is a he) is undoubtedly putting out a BS post just to see the reactions.
If we are talking about Hand, I am pretty sure he is a male or went through a lot of trouble to get pictures of him sitting with a dog,etc.,etc.. He also has rifles to protect himself as he is useless in a physical confrontation. 😉 He does love saying things just to get a reaction, which always seems to work!
Not completely sure about Goad, but I believe him to be male, talks like a dude, but then we have had a few women on here who did also!!!
-VR
11 May 18
Originally posted by @very-rustyHand. What did he say when you told him you got pics of him and his dog? Payback is a bitch,eh. You remember what he did to me, posting pics of my house and full name?
Are we talking about Goad or Hand here?
If we are talking about Hand, I am pretty sure he is a male or went through a lot of trouble to get pictures of him sitting with a dog,etc.,etc.. He also has rifles to protect himself as he is useless in a physical confrontation. 😉 He does love saying things just to get a reaction, which always seems to work! ...[text shortened]... m to be male, talks like a dude, but then we have had a few women on here who did also!!!
-VR
11 May 18
Originally posted by @sonhouseActually he had them posted. I didn't save the pics, neither him his dog or rifles interested me.
Hand. What did he say when you told him you got pics of him and his dog? Payback is a bitch,eh. You remember what he did to me, posting pics of my house and full name?
No, I didn't hear about him posting pics of your house and full name. I certainly wouldn't put it past him, and how did he get a hold of that info?
-VR
11 May 18
Originally posted by @captain-strangeI believe any sized dong print on her new towels, combined with blood splattered bathroom tile, would have been just as poorly received by my wife.
You are certainly not being boastful by telling us you left big bloody dong prints on your wife's best bath towels. 😉