@mike69 said
Although I can relate to his feelings on the subject, this isn’t fair to you and your growth and happiness. I’m sorry for intruding but felt by mentioning here it was ok and no I don’t know your situation except what you have talked about here. Life is short and goes fast.

He’s the father of my sons so I do look out for him; in a sisterly sort of way, nothing more.

@ghost-of-a-duke said
I was saying it shouldn't be necessary for you to give reassurance you are being real, when sharing something personal. That was all.

Ok thanks for clarifying.

[/prickly]

@drewnogal said
He’s the father of my sons so I do look out for him; in a sisterly sort of way, nothing more.

I don’t doubt that, mine remarried and moved to Colorado. I haven’t moved on and still care for her deeply after 7 years. She’s here for a few days and when I got lost yesterday we were at the same spot and I got to spend some time with her it was very nice. Saying this if she hadn’t remarried and left there are so many areas in my life I wouldn’t have grown in so many ways and even grown up in some others after being together since high school and four children together still with us. Nothing said here suggest you still wouldn’t share and love these things together as one but have the opportunity for growth in both directions for the future. There may even be areas of codependency not totally realized. If you still love him and want to reunite that’s another story but there are areas you have to let go of if planning on a healthy happy future with someone else. I don’t ask my children for anything and capable but if I wasn’t at 56 I would think the responsibility old fall on children or other personal family. Your eyes look sad, and knowing some of your story I just wanted to offer a caring thought. May peace and love be with you my friend.

@mike69 said
I don’t doubt that, mine remarried and moved to Colorado. I haven’t moved on and still care for her deeply after 7 years. She’s here for a few days and when I got lost yesterday we were at the same spot and I got to spend some time with her it was very nice. Saying this if she hadn’t remarried and left there are so many areas in my life I wouldn’t have grown in so many ways ...[text shortened]... me of your story I just wanted to offer a caring thought. May peace and love be with you my friend.

Her eyes aren’t mine though she is very sad as she’s grieving the recent loss of her soulmate.

@drewnogal said
Her eyes aren’t mine though she is very sad as she’s grieving the recent loss of her soulmate.

Oh, do you mind me asking why people use others pictures? I’m sorry for your friend/relative.

@pettytalk said
"I had a few panic attacks some that bad I had to take time off work,the only thing that helped was Valium."

Valium is the little yellow pill the Stones sang about in their Mother's Little Helper.

I always thought that pill was an amphetamine of some kind.

"gets her through her busy day" - valium wouldn't do that.

@mike69 said
Oh, do you mind me asking why people use others pictures? I’m sorry for your friend/relative.

Not a relative or friend, she’s just someone I’ve been thinking of. It’s a temporary change from my robin. As for other people? Well it gets some people wondering, some sort of attention perhaps? 🙂

@drewnogal said
Not a relative or friend, she’s just someone I’ve been thinking of. It’s a temporary change from my robin. As for other people? Well it gets some people wondering, some sort of attention perhaps? 🙂

Some of us prefer our privacy. I'd go for an avatar myself.

@kewpie said
Some of us prefer our privacy. I'd go for an avatar myself.

People love to criticize others' avatars. Every time I put something else up, it was usually men who questioned it. I never understood why they cared so much.

@suzianne said
I always thought that pill was an amphetamine of some kind.

"gets her through her busy day" - valium wouldn't do that.

It gets me through bad times, its not an upper or a downer it prpmotrs peace, And although it's addictive if you manage valium and only use for emergency intervention it's safe.

@pettytalk said
That's one way to look at it, just like brakes and accidents.

As I was told by a good friend who is really obsessed with some weird ideas, is this. It was suggested that obsession, particularly when directed towards a beneficial or productive goal, can be a positive attribute. This perspective acknowledges that obsessions can sometimes lead to significant achievements o ...[text shortened]... t must also be admitted that these kinds of obsessions are extremely rare in the general population.

It's called concentration. OTB chess players are particularly good at it.

@suzianne said
I always thought that pill was an amphetamine of some kind.

"gets her through her busy day" - valium wouldn't do that.

Valium is still prescribed for managing anxiety disorders. A person is controlled by anxieties which, with panic disorders, keeps them from performing their daily activities. The activities that have come to be dreaded, and are starting to drag one down, which are becoming unbearable and difficult to bear. Valium keeps them calm and focused on the tasks at hand, by slowing down their brains and subduing their thoughts on boring schedules. In the case of the song, the stay-at-home mom is made to calm down with the help of a tranquilizer.

If we take the lyrics as a whole, and not just take the 'busy' line out of context, we can see other clues referring to a tranquilizer. A few lines strongly point to a tranquilizer. And one particular line brings it home to roost.

"Kids are different today"
I hear every mother say
Mother NEEDS something today
To CALM HER DOWN
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill.

We read that: The most commonly cited drug associated with the "little yellow pill" in discussions about "Mother's Little Helper" is Valium (diazepam). This interpretation is supported by the song's mention of a yellow pill and the fact that Valium was known for its yellow tablets. It was widely available and prescribed during the time the song was released, making it a likely candidate for the "little yellow pill."

She goes running for the shelter
Of her mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way
Gets her through her busy day

It's the calming effect that helps her get on her way, and therefore allows her to go through the daily routine, which is assumed to be humdrum. She's a housewife doing boring house chores.

"Things are different today"
I hear every mother say
Cooking fresh food for her husband's just a drag
So she buys an instant cake
And she burns a frozen steak

...........................

Men just aren't the same today"
I hear every mother say
"They just don't appreciate that you get tired"
They're so hard to satisfy
You CAN TRANQUILIZE YOUR MIND

Valium is classified as a tranquilizer.

Life's just much too hard today"
I hear every mother say
The pursuit of happiness
Just SEEMS A BORE
And if you take more of those
You will get an overdose

The song is clearly a satirical commentary on the societal pressures and the misuse of drugs, particularly among middle-class housewives in the 1960s. Valium was one of them, and the one hinted in the song, I would think.

@moonbus said
It's called concentration. OTB chess players are particularly good at it.

If you're down and confused and you don't remember who you're talking to, your concentration slips away because your baby is so far away.

YouTube

@pettytalk said
Valium is still prescribed for managing anxiety disorders.

Only for the short term old chap. It is not a long term fix. (Can actually make anxiety worse if taken for too long).

A person with anxiety often thinks it will keep going up, but anxiety (like most emotions) has a ceiling. - For example, I will often take a client with social anxiety into a busy coffee shop. Their initial reaction is to get up and leave (and if they do that the first time no problem) but if they can tolerate the anxiety and become acclimatized to the environment (usually by the distraction of a coffee or a game of chess) they become 'habitualized' and the anxiety will come down to manageable levels by itself. (Do that enough times and it 'can' lead to the extinction of the anxiety altogether or at the very least reduce it to a level where it doesn't get in the way of social interactions).

The problem with drugs like Valium is that it interferes with the above technique and prevents a person learning to cope with anxiety and manage it effectively.

@ghost-of-a-duke said
Only for the short term old chap. It is not a long term fix. (Can actually make anxiety worse if taken for too long).

A person with anxiety often thinks it will keep going up, but anxiety (like most emotions) has a ceiling. - For example, I will often take a client with social anxiety into a busy coffee shop. Their initial reaction is to get up and leave (and if th ...[text shortened]... the above technique and prevents a person learning to cope with anxiety and manage it effectively.

Was there an indication in my post that I champion the use of tranquilizers? I was merely indicating to Suzianne, in detail, as to why the little yellow pill is most likely a 'downer', a tranquilizer, and not 'speed', an amphetamine.

Young chap, having some close familiarity, through close personal study, I quite agree with you on the negative effects of long term use of certain pharmaceutical drugs.

Your assessment on distraction as being a coping mechanism, is well taken. However, it did not help calm my anxiety for a loss in our game. I tried desperately to distract you to no avail. Obviously, I now see that I should have tried to distract myself, rather than you, since you were not anxious at all, judging from all our anxious chatting.

In very difficult cases, where everything natural has been employed without success, I don't see a problem with resorting to a prescribed light dose, and only for a brief period, of a drug to get the ball rolling in the right direction.