Crumpet etiquette

Crumpet etiquette

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Resident of Planet X

The Ghost Chamber

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1. Never eat more than two in one serving.
2. Allow the butter to melt first before applying the jam of your choice.
3. Marmite should never be in the same room as a crumpet.
4. Pick up with the thumb and middle finger.
5. Before eating, sing the national anthem.

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@ghost-of-a-duke said
1. Never eat more than two in one serving.
2. Allow the butter to melt first before applying the jam of your choice.
3. Marmite should never be in the same room as a crumpet.
4. Pick up with the thumb and middle finger.
5. Before eating, sing the national anthem.
3 out of 5 Marmite is not allowed in my house.

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In 6th grade we were asked if we’d like to learn to play a musical instrument, although I really wanted to learn to play the trumpet but being the gentleman that I was/am and there was only one trumpet and Sheila wanted to learn it too, I chose the tuba the only other instrument left. OMG…crumpet, not trumpet.😲🫢

Australia

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1 edit

@ghost-of-a-duke said
1. Never eat more than two in one serving.
2. Allow the butter to melt first before applying the jam of your choice.
3. Marmite should never be in the same room as a crumpet.
4. Pick up with the thumb and middle finger.
5. Before eating, sing the national anthem.
I'd go with 1 and 2. I can't stand Marmite, but Vegemite is my crumpet spread of choice, followed by plum jam, golden syrup or cane sugar. I pick mine up with thumb and first finger.
I can do without the national anthem too.

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@great-big-stees said
In 6th grade we were asked if we’d like to learn to play a musical instrument, although I really wanted to learn to play the trumpet but being the gentleman that I was/am and there was only one trumpet and Sheila wanted to learn it too, I chose the tuba the only other instrument left. OMG…crumpet, not trumpet.😲🫢
Raspberry jam on a crumpet,
tastes better than jam on a trumpet.
I once ate a tuba,
while holidaying in Cuba,
jam also works on a strumpet.

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@kewpie said
I'd go with 1 and 2. I can't stand Marmite, but Vegemite is my crumpet spread of choice, followed by plum jam, golden syrup or cane sugar. I pick mine up with thumb and first finger.
I can do without the national anthem too.
Vegemite? 😲

On a crumpet?!

Australia

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@ghost-of-a-duke said
Vegemite? 😲

On a crumpet?!
Absolutely! We don't go much for sweet stuff here, babies get addicted to Vegemite at a very early age. Applied with a very light touch of course. I've been told Americans spread it on thickly like jam, but that's not on.

free tazer tickles..

wildly content...

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@ghost-of-a-duke said
1. Never eat more than two in one serving.
2. Allow the butter to melt first before applying the jam of your choice.
3. Marmite should never be in the same room as a crumpet.
4. Pick up with the thumb and middle finger.
5. Before eating, sing the national anthem.
dear lord, thank you for texas
we eat rattlesnake onna stick
roadmash is an acceptable sauce
i got an extra here, give it a lick

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

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I assume no on cares for mustard on their crumpet. 🙂

-VR

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@very-rusty said
I assume no on cares for mustard on their crumpet. 🙂

-VR
One can only assume sir you have never encountered a crumpet.

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1 edit

@ghost-of-a-duke said
1. Never eat more than two in one serving.
2. Allow the butter to melt first before applying the jam of your choice.
3. Marmite should never be in the same room as a crumpet.
4. Pick up with the thumb and middle finger.
5. Before eating, sing the national anthem.
3rd is permitted if after long coastal walk
Butter melted always
Marmite over any other topping, but others are permitted
Overuse of middle finger
Singing in national anthem in British tea shops is normal

Treat Everyone Equal

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2 edits

@ghost-of-a-duke said
One can only assume sir you have never encountered a crumpet.
Well Sir you did say they can only be acquired in the UK! 🙂

What is gooster talking about middle finger for, what would that have to do with a crumpet, very puzzled now. 😏

-VR

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@very-rusty said
We Sir you did say they can only be acquired in the UK! 🙂

What is gooster talking about middle finger for, what would that have to do with a crumpet, very puzzled now. 😏

-VR
In England the aristocrat's use the forefinger for pointing at things, rather than having to talk to or explain anything to the riff raff , stopping them from wearing their tongue out.oh and for picking their nose

Treat Everyone Equal

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@david-burton said
In England the aristocrat's use the forefinger for pointing at things, rather than having to talk to or explain anything to the riff raff , stopping them from wearing their tongue out.oh and for picking their nose
I see, one would need to be educated on the aristocrat's before visiting England. 🙂

-VR

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🙄