Favourite stupid poems / limerics etc

Favourite stupid poems / limerics etc

Culture

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z

Joined
03 Oct 05
Moves
86698
15 Jan 09

Spike Miiligan: Return to Sorento 1,2,3:

I must go down to the sea again,
The lonely sea and sky,
I left my vest and socks there,
I wonder if they're dry?

L

Joined
07 Jan 09
Moves
544
15 Jan 09

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose sick was so long he could duck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a funt I would cuck it!"

C
Don't Fear Me

Reaping

Joined
28 Feb 07
Moves
655
16 Jan 09

A prokaryote and his brother
were sharing a drink with each other.
They, in their quaffing,
split their sides laughing
and now each of them is a mother.

Joined
07 Jan 08
Moves
34575
17 Jan 09

There once was a lady from Madras
Who had a most beautiful ass
Not the kind you may think
All dimpled and pink
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.

z

Joined
03 Oct 05
Moves
86698
18 Jan 09

Spike again:

Death to the dentist,
Death to his chair,
Death to his 'this might hurt',
There! There! There!

Death to his amalgam,Death to his nurse,
Death to his injections, Curse! Curse! Curse!

Death to his 'open wides',
Death to his drill,
Death to his fillings,
Kill! Kill! Kill!

P

weedhopper

Joined
25 Jul 07
Moves
8096
18 Jan 09

Roses are red,
Vioets are blue.
I'm a schizophrenic
and so am I !

rural North Dakota

Joined
31 Oct 07
Moves
95775
19 Jan 09

Originally posted by PinkFloyd
Roses are red,
Vioets are blue.
I'm a schizophrenic
and so am I !
One I learned in grade school:

There was a young lady from Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger

They returned from the ride
With the lady inside

And the smile on the face of the tiger.

M

Joined
10 Apr 06
Moves
19564
20 Jan 09

Resume

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

-- Dorothy Parker

Devout Agnostic.

DZ-015

Joined
12 Oct 05
Moves
42584
20 Jan 09

There once was a young man called Artur,
who was an exceptional farter.
On only one bean
he'd fart "God save the Queen"
And Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata"

Zellulärer Automat

Spiel des Lebens

Joined
27 Jan 05
Moves
90892
20 Jan 09

There was a man of Thessaly and he was wondrous wise:
He jumped into a quick-set hedge and scratched out both his eyes
And when he saw his eyes were out he'd reason to complain:
He jumped into another hedge and scratched them in again

N

The sky

Joined
05 Apr 05
Moves
10385
21 Jan 09
1 edit

Das Gebet

Die Rehlein beten zur Nacht,
hab acht!

Halb neun!

Halb zehn!

Halb elf!

Halb zwölf!

Zwölf!

Die Rehlein beten zur Nacht,
hab acht!
Sie falten die kleinen Zehlein,
die Rehlein.

-Christian Morgenstern

N

The sky

Joined
05 Apr 05
Moves
10385
21 Jan 09

Originally posted by Nordlys
Das Gebet

Die Rehlein beten zur Nacht,
hab acht!
Halb neun!
Halb zehn!
Halb elf!
Halb zwölf!
Zwölf!
Die Rehlein beten zur Nacht,
hab acht!
Sie falten die kleinen Zehlein,
die Rehlein.

-Christian Morgenstern
Max Knight's translation:

The Does' Prayer

The does, as the hour grows late,
med-it-ate;

med-it-nine;

med-i-ten;

med-eleven;

med-twelve;

mednight!

The does, as the hour grows late,
meditate.
They fold their little toesies,
the doesies.

M

Joined
10 Apr 06
Moves
19564
21 Jan 09

Originally posted by Nordlys
Max Knight's translation:

The Does' Prayer

The does, as the hour grows late,
med-it-ate;

med-it-nine;

med-i-ten;

med-eleven;

med-twelve;

mednight!

The does, as the hour grows late,
meditate.
They fold their little toesies,
the doesies.
1 little monkey way going 2 the store
When he saw a banana 3 he'd never seen be 4.
By 5 o'clock that evening, he was 6 with a stomachache
Because 7 green bananas was what that monkey 8.
By 9 o'clock that evening, that monkey was quite ill
So 10 he called the doctor who was 11 on the hill.
The doctor said, "You're almost dead!
Don't eat green bananas no more!"
The little monkey groaned and said,
"But that's what I 1 2 the 3 4!"

--Shel Silverstein

SEMI TALENTED NOVICE

Bronx, New York

Joined
26 Nov 07
Moves
135642
22 Jan 09

s

At the Revolution

Joined
15 Sep 07
Moves
5073
22 Jan 09

Originally posted by huckleberryhound
There once was a young man called Artur,
who was an exceptional farter.
On only one bean
he'd fart "God save the Queen"
And Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata"
The third movement of the Moonlight, I hope?? 😀