Originally posted by twhiteheadlove and sex are artificially linked together. one doesn't fall in love with a supermodel bimbo that needs a cheat sheet to tie her shoes and kicks puppies for fun.
The two are very closely related. Can you fall in love with someone romantically without sexual attraction? White possibly so, but they are nevertheless related.
[b]The way i see it, true love endures even when sexual attraction fades.
But can one have true love of the romantic kind for someone of one sex but only ever have sexual attraction to t ...[text shortened]... In fact, I think 'not getting any' is grounds for divorce, as is getting it somewhere else.[/b]
"But can one have true love of the romantic kind for someone of one sex but only ever have sexual attraction to the other sex?"
are you saying that true love of the romantic kind dies when sexual attraction dies?
"your overall claim seems to be that gay marriage might not involve sex."
i said no such thing. correlation doesn't imply causation. am i having sex because i am married? do i need to have sex because i am married? no, sex is fun, i am having it. gay marriage, like all marriage, is foremost about wanting to have a life together.
"I think 'not getting any' is grounds for divorce, as is getting it somewhere else." well by that reasoning, maybe the marriage should be based on other activities too. how about we add chess to a wife's "duties". and not getting any chess should be then grounds for divorce too. sex is supposed to be fun for both parties. married couples don't have an obligation to sex each other up. they do it because it is fun. marriages don't crumble when old age greatly diminishes the sex drive. why do you think that is? could it be because sex is a minor aspect of marriage?
Originally posted by Zahlanziits almost impossible to put marriage/sex in boxes. i think it differs massively from one couple to another. i think the idea of 'true love' is a bit of a myth created in individual minds and given different meanings.
love and sex are artificially linked together. one doesn't fall in love with a supermodel bimbo that needs a cheat sheet to tie her shoes and kicks puppies for fun.
"But can one have true love of the romantic kind for someone of one sex but only ever have sexual attraction to the other sex?"
are you saying that true love of the romantic kind dies when why do you think that is? could it be because sex is a minor aspect of marriage?
i know couples who's whole relationship was built on sex and when it wanes the relationship falls apart, yet they were convinced they had 'true love' but they were being tricked by the feelings sex creates.
i know a couple who have sex once or twice a year, even in the early days and thought they were best friends but still split up as they grew in different directions.
i know couple who have nothing in common and from the outside it looks like a business arrangement but have been together of 30years.
love is subjective, different for us all. some of us need something specific from a partner, some are more easy going and can find love in any relationship. some need sex for love others dont.
too many variables to pigeon hole, i reckon.
edit: i havent had chess with my wife in years.
Originally posted by stellspalfiepot kettle black I will not have straight people beard scratch about gays when they are just as / more filthy
its almost impossible to put marriage/sex in boxes. i think it differs massively from one couple to another. i think the idea of 'true love' is a bit of a myth created in individual minds and given different meanings.
i know couples who's whole relationship was built on sex and when it wanes the relationship falls apart, yet they were convinced they ...[text shortened]... many variables to pigeon hole, i reckon.
edit: i havent had chess with my wife in years.
Watch the yogi bear song!
then come back with more 'insights'
Originally posted by e4chrissorry, im not following you about the kettle and gays?
pot kettle black I will not have straight people beard scratch about gays when they are just as / more filthy
Watch the yogi bear song!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2piqu3sMInA
then come back with more 'insights'
i remember the song, we sang variations on school trips.
Originally posted by e4chrisi thought 'pot, kettle, black' was insinuating something (although i have no idea what). okay. lets reverse the minibus of conversation out this cul-de-sac of debate and enjoy 'aunty mabel' much better than mega-death.
for you .... not sure I have one, can try and find another crap song?
edit here you are
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umeZtszNShk
what do you mean I hurt your feelings?
Originally posted by stellspalfiei havent had chess with my wife in years
its almost impossible to put marriage/sex in boxes. i think it differs massively from one couple to another. i think the idea of 'true love' is a bit of a myth created in individual minds and given different meanings.
i know couples who's whole relationship was built on sex and when it wanes the relationship falls apart, yet they were convinced they ...[text shortened]... many variables to pigeon hole, i reckon.
edit: i havent had chess with my wife in years.
Careful, she might seek someone else to satisfy her chess needs.
i believe that too much importance is put on sex. yes, it is fun. yes it is A LOT of fun. yes, it is an expression of intimacy that a loving couple engages in. but in in the end, it is a miniscule part. after the "sex you up and whatnot" is over, you still have 95% of the day(insert "i can go all night long, baby" jokes here) that you need to fill with being in the company of the one you love. fill it with what? each couple finds that what, but the bottom line is, a gay couple would do nothing different than a straight couple. that is why i argue that the love of a gay couple is no less worthy and precious than the love a straight couple enjoys, even arguing from the fundies position that "gay lovin is icky"
"couples who's whole relationship was built on sex"
those relationships are doomed. if you can't find any reason other than sex to be together, you really do not love the other or perhaps that is all you want at the moment. fuk buddies are awesome. and sometimes the fukin evolves into something else. if it doesn't, sooner or later boredom will set in.
"too many variables to pigeon hole, i reckon."
clearly. in real life it is rarely possible to describe a problem in black or white. and current society does indeed put way too much importance (still) on sex being an intimate act that should be restricted to two adults in love. the result is that a couple cannot eliminate sex when discussing their love. i suggest that if we would change how we perceive sex, then we wouldn't care whether or not the happy couple next to us is gay or not.
Originally posted by e4chrisyes, it is much more mature to bump it by dismissing something you have not read, have no idea what it is about and have no opinion on. if this doesn't interest you, let it be and allow others who do have an opinion to contribute. when the subject is depleted, it will die on its own. no need to spoil the mood of everybody else.
to be honest, I try not to troll, but the thread title is trolling, I haven't read a word any of you said as I don't see the point in trying to say something meaningful and bumping a stupid / offensive thread in doing so...
but quaf on if you must
if you have nothing to say, don't say anything.
Originally posted by e4chrishow is the thread title trolling? im guessing you have probably misunderstood its meaning and are adding a homophobic meaning that is there. maybe if you took the time to read the o.p. you would realize that.
to be honest, I try not to troll, but the thread title is trolling, I haven't read a word any of you said as I don't see the point in trying to say something meaningful and bumping a stupid / offensive thread in doing so...
but quaf on if you must