Hand of Hecate:
Integrity with the passage: 32/33
Creativity: 32/33
Convincing manner: 30/33
Overall: 94/99
This is much better. You’ve mostly limited the before and after prose to things the congregation can see, hear, and feel – the way he grips the bible, the oppressive air and the foreboding voice – and these definitely affect the way the people fathom the sermon’s message. High marks for creativity and writing style too.
You also did a very good job in keeping with the integrity of the passage and making it relevant to the congregation and ending with a call to action. This passage seems to require such an ending.
Keep an eye on your tenses. I had to re-read a couple of times because I thought the abundant days were the present but you referred to better days in the past tense a couple of times. Don’t confuse your congregation.
Doctor Scribbles:
Integrity with the passage: 25 /33
Creativity: 33 /33
Convincing manner: 20/33
Overall: 78/99
Ha! Full points for creativity.
Integrity with the passage – meh. You were getting there but your story took a turn and ceased running parallel with the biblical story so not quite. As for convincing, I’m not sure what your point is. For Darvis to be forgiving? That Cribs should have shared his crappy fast food chicken carcass in the first place? What would be the benefit of either? For a kid’s sermon, you really have to put the dots a little closer together.
Shavixmir
Integrity with the passage: 20/33
Creativity: 31/33
Convincing manner: 28/33
Overall: 79/99
A decidedly creative interpretation of the passage. And you get a strong score for being convincing by working personal anecdotes, distasteful genital imagery into the sermon and ending with an urgent call to action. But ultimately the integrity of the passage suffered. Fun read, though.
I will be out of town, on a beach, drinking for the next couple of weekends and will have dubious internet access. I may not be able to participate in judging the next round if the deadline is this Saturday for entries but I should be able to get it together to evaluate the round that ends on the following Saturday.
Originally posted by duecerNote that I said that I "wrenched" Whitman: his poem is "When I heard the learn'd astronomer". (I believe that's both the first line and the title: I'm working from recall.)
HOH: I saw situation, conflict, and resolution modeled, which makes it easier for the listeners, The integrety of the scripture was fully intact; a good piece of contextualizing. The sermon had a nice flow to it, and as others pointed out the term poverty of abundanc e is not often thought about. Good work! 92/99
Shav: I saw where you were going, and I got ...[text shortened]... whereas you did not make a submission, I award you 25 points for posting a Walt Whitman poem🙂
Thanks, though, Duecer.
Originally posted by vistesdThank you vistesd!
Unlike the others, I couldn’t come up with anything for this round—I was going to try something relating it eastern notions of karma (one of my kurve-balls, as Kirk termed a couple of my sermons on the last contest). But I didn’t like anything I tried to write. Congrats to the others for their good work.
__________________________________
[b]Prittybe ...[text shortened]...
and all I might risk to say,
underneath my clumsy words,
says really nothing more than that.
I really would have liked to see a sermon from you on this passage though. I know dead lines can be against you sometimes. I hope you can enter in the next ones. I look forward to reading your sermons.🙂
Originally posted by pritybettaI really would have liked to see a sermon from you on this passage though.
Thank you vistesd!
I really would have liked to see a sermon from you on this passage though. I know dead lines can be against you sometimes. I hope you can enter in the next ones. I look forward to reading your sermons.🙂
My failure! Let’s say that I owe you one. 🙂 (I'll come up with something vis-a-vis that passage sooner or later...)
Originally posted by MimorDo I detect that possibly your proclevity towards vegetarianism may have influenced your judging? We must remember to be inclusive of everyone's traditions yea verily even the crappy fast food chicken carcass. Food is a sacrament to many.
Doctor Scribbles:
Integrity with the passage: 25 /33
Creativity: 33 /33
Convincing manner: 20/33
Overall: 78/99
Ha! Full points for creativity.
Integrity with the passage – meh. You were getting there but your story took a turn and ceased running parallel with the biblical story so not quite. As for convincing, I’m not sure what your point i ...[text shortened]... enefit of either? For a kid’s sermon, you really have to put the dots a little closer together.