Annotated Games

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11...Ne4 led to a pawn structure similar to one that can arise from the 4. f3 line of the Nimzo-Indian. The migration of White's b-pawn to the c3-square reinforces the d-pawn and thereby makes Black's natural counterstrike ...c5 less effective.

My impression is that 11...c5 or 11...Nf8 would be better.

Not being that familiar with Nge2 in the Queen's Gambit Declined (and not wanting to reinvent the wheel in this case), I just now looked up the position at an online chess games repository. Its database has 11...c5 and 11...Nf8 as the most played moves in this position.

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We didn't discuss the game afterward, so I'm not sure why Black played Nc6-b4-c6. Maybe Black thought that coaxing White's bishop off the b1-g8 diagonal and then occupying it with his own bishop at f5 was the way to exploit White's slow play. But White's setup resembles a reversed QGD Tarrasch Defense, so I'd say that a sequence that appears to force an advantage against it should be examined critically before possibly being played.

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I believe that Black should play 9...b5, intending 10. Bxb5 Nxe4 11. Nxe4 Qa5+ or 10. Nxb5 Nxe4 11. Bxe4 Re8. After 9...b5 10. Nxb5 Nxe4, White isn't obliged to take the knight, but still Black seems to get a more comfortable game than was obtained after 9...Re8.

I played the black side of the Benoni for a long time and did well with it. But I found that it demands very precise handling by Black. The lines I most disliked facing involved an early Bf4, so I employed this as White and probably had a better record with it than with any other opening variation.

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I have not found a way to improve on the play you give for Black after 10. Nxb5 Nxe4 11. Bxe4 Re8 12. Nd2. I suspect that 10...Re8 is more accurate, threatening 11...Nxd5 in addition to 11...Nxe4.

But before giving up on 10...Nxe4, I took a look at 11. Bxe4 Qa5+ 12. Nc3. The only continuation that seemed to have a chance of being satisfactory was to remain a piece down with 12...Ba6 in order to keep White's king in the center. Then 13. Be3 (13. Bd3 Bxc3+) 13...f5 14. Bd3 Bxc3+ 15. bxc3 Qxc3+ 16. Ke2 f4 17. Bxa6 Nxa6 18. Qc1 Qa5 19. Bd2 Qb5+ 20. Kd1 Nb4 seems to provide compensation. But I wouldn't be surprised if there were a refutation.

"In my view, the Modern Benoni is an opening wherein Black does not so much aim to equalize as to create positions where White may go astray and give dynamic chances to Black."

I concur. When I'm playing a defense like the Lasker Sicilian (1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 Nc6 3. d4 cxd4 4. Nxd4 Nf6 5. Nc3 e5), I have absolute confidence that if I play correctly, there will always be a resource for Black if things get hairy. Finding the resource might be no small task, but my believing that it was there would persuade me to expend the possibly copious amount of time necessary to look for it.

I don't feel that way about the Modern Benoni.

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"[ After 10...Nxe4 11. Bxe4 Qa5+ 12. Nc3 ]
12 ... Ba6 13 Qc2 (looks natural to me) Re8 14 Kd1 and now what for Black?"

I think Black's busted. 13. Qc2 should have looked natural to me too, being that it protects the c3- and e4-squares while clearing d1 for the king.

"If 10 Nxb5 Nxe4 11 Bxe4 Re8 12 Nd2 Ba6 13 a4 Qa5 14 Nxd6 Nd7 15 Qc2 f5
16 Nxe8 Rxe8 17 Kd1 fxe4 18 Nxe4 can Black find enough compensation?"

I don't see how. 18...Re5 19. Bd2 Rxd5 20. Kc1 seems to consolidate. So, I've given up on 10...Nxe4.

Having done that, I figured I'd see whether the above sequence up to 20. Kc1 had been played, and I found a game at 365chess dot com (at which registration is free). White won in 34 moves, and the deviations by Black in other games from moves 12 to 19 had White obtaining an excellent score, so I didn't play through any of them.

I guess 10...Re8 would be the ultimate test of whether 9...b5 works for Black.

@Duchess64
"I did notice some friends or acquaintances (who took chess more seriously) getting FM titles. They did not seem much more talented, if at all, than I, so I wondered 'Is it really that easy?'"

I'd imagine that if you were to have played in FIDE-rated events after reaching your present strength or close to it, you would have had little trouble meeting the FM title requirement of a 2300+ rating based on at least 30 games. I surmise that these playing opportunities were unavailable or infeasible due to responsibilities or other circumstances.