Best Joke You've Heard Lately

Best Joke You've Heard Lately

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HoH
Thug

Playing with matches

Joined
08 Feb 05
Moves
14634
17 May 18

A disheveled and more than a bit stinky homeless guy is walking along, minding his own business, when he comes across a beautiful woman standing at the rail of a bridge looking down into a deep chasm.

As he gets near he calls out to her asking if she's alright. The young lady reacts violently and shouts, "Don't come any closer! I'm going to jump off this bridge and kill myself! Don't try to stop me!"

The homeless guy, being a big fan of personal freedom, gives this some thought and says, "Alright, I won't try to stop you, but, I have a favor to ask. I'm down on my luck and I haven't felt the touch of a woman in a long time. Would you have sex with me before you go?"

The woman is horrified and yells at our hero. "Your disgusting! What a horrible thing to ask. Get away from me you filthy pig!"

Our hero gives this a moments consideration and says, "No problem, I'll just go wait at the bottom?"

Joined
06 Nov 15
Moves
41301
17 May 18

Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
A disheveled and more than a bit stinky homeless guy is walking along, minding his own business, when he comes across a beautiful woman standing at the rail of a bridge looking down into a deep chasm.

As he gets near he calls out to her asking if she's alright. The young lady reacts violently and shouts, "Don't come any closer! I'm going to jump ...[text shortened]... hero gives this a moments consideration and says, "No problem, I'll just go wait at the bottom?"
Uproariously hilarious!! 🙄

chemist

Linkenheim

Joined
22 Apr 05
Moves
656142
17 May 18

Thread 158151

looking for loot

western colorado

Joined
05 Feb 11
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9664
17 May 18

I get a daily joke by working the cryptoquiz. So far they are all sweet and forgettable.

HoH
Thug

Playing with matches

Joined
08 Feb 05
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14634
17 May 18

Originally posted by @ponderable
Thread 158151
That thread is full of crap one liners and knock knock jokes. This one is meant for premium lulz.

chemist

Linkenheim

Joined
22 Apr 05
Moves
656142
17 May 18

Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
That thread is full of crap one liners and knock knock jokes. This one is meant for premium lulz.
good one!

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Joined
04 Oct 06
Moves
599212
17 May 18

Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
A disheveled and more than a bit stinky homeless guy is walking along, minding his own business, when he comes across a beautiful woman standing at the rail of a bridge looking down into a deep chasm.

As he gets near he calls out to her asking if she's alright. The young lady reacts violently and shouts, "Don't come any closer! I'm going to jump ...[text shortened]... hero gives this a moments consideration and says, "No problem, I'll just go wait at the bottom?"
Disgusting as usual!!!

10 thumbs down for that one!!!

-VR

Mar-a-Lago

Joined
02 Aug 11
Moves
8962
17 May 18

Yesterday I walked past a dishevelled busker playing Breakfast in America.
I said that's Supertramp.
He replied thanks very much.

free tazer tickles..

wildly content...

Joined
09 Mar 08
Moves
201149
17 May 18

tragedy is when i cut my finger, comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die...
-mel brooks

HoH
Thug

Playing with matches

Joined
08 Feb 05
Moves
14634
17 May 18

Originally posted by @captain-strange
Yesterday I walked past a dishevelled busker playing Breakfast in America.
I said that's Supertramp.
He replied thanks very much.
That’s crap.

HoH
Thug

Playing with matches

Joined
08 Feb 05
Moves
14634
17 May 18

Originally posted by @very-rusty
Disgusting as usual!!!

10 thumbs down for that one!!!

-VR
You’re a humorless turd wagon.

HoH
Thug

Playing with matches

Joined
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Moves
14634
17 May 18

Originally posted by @ponderable
good one!
This thread will also have my critique of your posted jokes.

F

Unknown Territories

Joined
05 Dec 05
Moves
20408
17 May 18

Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
This thread will also have my critique of your posted jokes.
Microscopic thread.

free tazer tickles..

wildly content...

Joined
09 Mar 08
Moves
201149
17 May 18

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Joined
04 Oct 06
Moves
599212
17 May 18

Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
You’re a humorless turd wagon.
And you are just a turd, hop on the wagon! 😛

-VR