The Hand's Product Reviews

The Hand's Product Reviews

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HoH
Thug

Playing with matches

Joined
08 Feb 05
Moves
14634
15 May 18
1 edit

Product Review #17: Cremo "Coconut Mango" Shaving Cream.

So I really like the Cremo shaving cream products. Super smooth. The razor glides effortlessly over your skin and leaves it feeling clean and moisturized. Crap shaving creams leave you with a tight burnt feeling to your skin. Almost like you sand papered off the stubble. Not Cremo though. A little goes a long way and any residue rinses off easily. Assuming you're using a sharp razor, you'll need a minimum off pressure to get a pleasant close shave every time.

Now along comes their Coconut Mango scented shave cream. "Damn,"I think to myself, "I love Coconut and Mango ain't bad. This is going to be like starting the day off with a Tropical Vacation. F@&$ yeah!" I damn near caressed the smooth and pleasantly yielding tube as I placed it into my basket.

Smelling the product prior to purchase would have meant pulling off the "sealed for your protection" silver tab. And why would I? Cremo's never steered me wrong before, right?

Little did I know, but, Cremo has clearly hired a French prostitute, brought her into the lab, and spent countless hours matching the scent of their Coconut Mango Shave Cream up with the scent of said prostitutes @$$hole. I will say this, the product continues to deliver on it's promise of a smooth shave, but, the smell is to Coconut Mango as cooked dog $&!? is to freshly sliced pineapples.

I give this product a generous 3 Sonhouses out of a possible 10 Sonhouses.

looking for loot

western colorado

Joined
05 Feb 11
Moves
9664
15 May 18
1 edit

Did you just say that sonhouse is the benchmark standard you measure the world against?

HoH
Thug

Playing with matches

Joined
08 Feb 05
Moves
14634
15 May 18

Originally posted by @apathist
Did you just say that sonhouse is the benchmark standard you measure the world against?
Yes. He's glorious.

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Joined
04 Oct 06
Moves
599212
15 May 18

Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
Yes. He's glorious.
And you are full of it!!! 😛

-VR

Joined
06 Nov 15
Moves
41301
15 May 18

During my time in the Philippines, the aroma of cooked dog was definitely preferable to the described alternative. However, I did manage to avoid consuming either...I think.

s
Fast and Curious

slatington, pa, usa

Joined
28 Dec 04
Moves
53223
15 May 18

Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
Product Review #17: Cremo "Coconut Mango" Shaving Cream.

So I really like the Cremo shaving cream products. Super smooth. The razor glides effortlessly over your skin and leaves it feeling clean and moisturized. Crap shaving creams leave you with a tight burnt feeling to your skin. Almost like you sand papered off the stubble. Not Cremo though. A ...[text shortened]... liced pineapples.

I give this product a generous 3 Sonhouses out of a possible 10 Sonhouses.
I am so flattered you think we are in all out war. And you such a nice guy and all.

HoH
Thug

Playing with matches

Joined
08 Feb 05
Moves
14634
15 May 18

Originally posted by @sonhouse
I am so flattered you think we are in all out war. And you such a nice guy and all.
Look, this is an important product review. Lives are at stake. If you’d be so kind as to get lost I’d appreciate it.

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Joined
04 Oct 06
Moves
599212
15 May 18

Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
Look, this is an important product review. Lives are at stake. If you’d be so kind as to get lost I’d appreciate it.
I am pretty sure your place as king of the A-Holes is quite secure! 😛 😉

-VR

F

Unknown Territories

Joined
05 Dec 05
Moves
20408
15 May 18

Originally posted by @very-rusty
I am pretty sure your place as king of the A-Holes is quite secure! 😛 😉

-VR
I admire your restraint in refraining from calling him king of the B-Holes.

That would have been most unseemly.

Good sport.

looking for loot

western colorado

Joined
05 Feb 11
Moves
9664
15 May 18

Originally posted by @wolfe63
During my time in the Philippines, the aroma of cooked dog was definitely preferable to the described alternative. However, I did manage to avoid consuming either...I think.
Wait. What is better than dog, exactly?

Joined
06 Nov 15
Moves
41301
15 May 18

Originally posted by @apathist
Wait. What is better than dog, exactly?
Oh yeah...sorry if I was vague. I was referring to a prostitute's bum as mentioned in this:

"Little did I know, but, Cremo has clearly hired a French prostitute, brought her into the lab, and spent countless hours matching the scent of their Coconut Mango Shave Cream up with the scent of said prostitutes @$$hole. I will say this, the product continues to deliver on it's promise of a smooth shave, but, the smell is to Coconut Mango as cooked dog $&!? is to freshly sliced pineapples."

I was likely being too polite...yeah?

s
Fast and Curious

slatington, pa, usa

Joined
28 Dec 04
Moves
53223
15 May 18

Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
Look, this is an important product review. Lives are at stake. If you’d be so kind as to get lost I’d appreciate it.
No doubt the latest success of your engineering boss, knowing you could not have come up with it on your own.

looking for loot

western colorado

Joined
05 Feb 11
Moves
9664
16 May 18

Originally posted by @wolfe63
...
I was likely being too polite...yeah?
Um, uh, no I was just slow.

TEXAS

STATE OF THE HEART

Joined
04 Nov 09
Moves
198473
17 May 18
1 edit

Now maybe I'm dirty, and maybe I smoke a little dope.
It ain't like I'm going on TV and tearing up pictures of the pope.
I know I get wild and I know I get drunk.
But it ain't like I gotta bunch of bodies in my trunk.
My old man used to call me a no-good punk
And I still don't know why.

I Think I'm An Alright Guy
Todd Snider

u
The So Fist

Voice of Reason

Joined
28 Mar 06
Moves
9908
17 May 18

Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
Product Review #17: Cremo "Coconut Mango" Shaving Cream.

So I really like the Cremo shaving cream products. Super smooth. The razor glides effortlessly over your skin and leaves it feeling clean and moisturized. Crap shaving creams leave you with a tight burnt feeling to your skin. Almost like you sand papered off the stubble. Not Cremo though. A ...[text shortened]... liced pineapples.

I give this product a generous 3 Sonhouses out of a possible 10 Sonhouses.
so when are you going to tell the minions here that your shaving cream is not for your face but for your putter and accompanying balls?

I love the fact that your putter smells like S**it...i bet it's not the first time its smelled that way, eh HOH?