Originally posted by ChessPraxis
I'm waiting for my new toaster, it has a USB port. Who the heck does my toaster have to talk to? My Roomba vacuum? It's got one too. 😕

Originally posted by ChessPraxis
Do you think my moisture content theory is valid? 😕
I mean shouldn't all bread toast at the same rate otherwise, beside the contents might not be the same between brands?
I just want toast, not hot bread or a carbon sample.

😞
I knew this would get me started, sorry 🙁

Originally posted by SwissGambit
Just think...you will never have to set anything again. Just plug in a flash drive and the toast always comes out just as you want it.

The post that was quoted here has been removed

Originally posted by ale1552
Your moisture content theory is absolutely valid. I can't understand why bread that has become a bit moist...usually from being in the freezer and thawed before popping it into the toaster...burns quicker. Mr. ale likes regular bread...wheat or white...and I prefer sourdough. (English muffin bread). His slice will be just right and mine is underdone. Or ...[text shortened]... lerate neither! (but then, his tolerance level is extremely low about everything in life). 😛

Originally posted by ChessPraxis
Or a frozen waffle gets burned on the outside and is still cold on the inside. I toast those until golden then microwave them. Waffle iron?? I never could use them. 🙁

Originally posted by ChessPraxis
Or a frozen waffle gets burned on the outside and is still cold on the inside. I toast those until golden then microwave them. Waffle iron?? I never could use them. 🙁

Originally posted by ale1552
Oh my dear friend! I make waffles that would melt in your mouth! Wish I could have you over to share some with mr. ale and me.

Originally posted by ChessPraxis
So do I. I haven't had a real waffle in years. 🙂

Originally posted by ale1552
My waffle iron was from a Montgomery Ward catalog. 😀 It must be 50 years old. Maybe that is your problem.

I use the Krusteaz brand of mix, but when my children were small, I made them from scratch. The egg whites were beaten until stiff and then folded into the batter. Once I opened the waffle lid and the cooked waffle floated out onto the counter all by itself! Well, it had stuck to the top, and came loose. But it was quite a sight!

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
"Hello, Mr Aphathist. My name's Cheryl. I'm from 10-OC, near Nashville. May I suggest that you reconsider your decision. Think of the savings (in time and money) to you and your family... no more throwing away burnt bread and cleaning up messes in your kitchen after breakfast. Mister A, I could also offer you a special 15% discount as an RHP Member if y ...[text shortened]... =-8ygb x7rfb!!!!" "Ok but my extension's #C14U-9 should you change your mind. Bye."
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My Sister got married recently. I remember my first marriage. Some jackass bought me a "programmable" toaster with 4 extra-wide slots that also accepted thin bread, and would automatically adjust. The programming was slick.... you could choose the exact shade of bread you want, save your preset, and it would remember. The thing was also smart enough to adjust for when you just toasted bread and put more bread in... it would understand that it was already heated up, and deduct the correct amount of toasting time to adjust, so that your bread would come out just the way you like it. Also, the toaster had a heat-absorbing material on the outside of it so that it always remained cool to the touch.

When I received the gift, I scratched my head and thought, "What idiot would ever put so much effort into something as simple as a toaster?" Well, guess what. It was the best gift of all, and I absolutely loved it. I took it to work one time so we could all eat bagels, and everyone raved about how cool the thing was.

I'll never forget that (long gone) toaster, and so, I tried to increase my sister's quality of life too. She was getting a toaster for her wedding gift. The best money could buy! I went to the local Williams & Sonoma store in a ritzy party of town, and plopped down about $200.00 for the finest toaster in the house. It was this mammoth stainless steel thing with 4 slots and all the bells & whistles.

I think I got something like a "gee. thanks." from her in a text message. Yay. 🙁

I guess it was a "me" thing... pffftt... she probably tossed the thing up in the attic to collect dust. Or maybe regifted it.

Heck I even (selfishly) tried to encourage her to use it by buying her $60.00 worth of Wolferman's Bakery English muffins and stuff. The response I got from that one was, "Yeah, I used to buy those all the time at the local bakery I went to a few years ago." And... nothing.

I want reparations!!!!! 😠

*shakes fist and looks upward*

"Dad! I know you're up there! Hey! You!! We're gonna have a nice, long chit-chat when I get up there. You hear? There's a storm comin'!"

🙂

Idea Factory Closing down

"Well, Cupcakes, it's been quite a ride." "Ya, little Ralphie and freckled Cheryl and her sister (you know, with long blond angel hair) dun their best." "True but it makes me cry to be closing our wonderful idea and toaster factory down around Christmas Time." "Big Ralphie, you worked hard and always dun did so good getting all that Santa Stuff and those Hottie Pink Toasters shipped for the lucky people on their special day.... that is, up until you started playing chess and making threads and bumping then in the janitor's closet next door to the back room". "I solly. What could I do to make everybody happy, again, and everything okay?" "Nuttin'." "Tain't nuttin' you or even you know wHo can do now." "Oh,
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