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Tough Guy-O-Rama

Tough Guy-O-Rama

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@Blood-On-The-Tracks said
Not mine, sorry
Mine neither. He can keep her. If she’ll have him.

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@Sprogladog said
I dont blame you...she is currently at the peak of her fake tan cycle, her new lashes are 12inches, her boobs are 95% petroleum jelly and her thong is like a cheese cutter splitting her from crotch to lip filler...........every mans dream,
My bird got tattoos.




On her lips.















... her other lips.























On the inside.












You'll never see them. That bird ditched me for a twat on a moped.

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@moonbus said
My bird got tattoos.




On her lips.















... her other lips.























On the inside.












You'll never see them. That bird ditched me for a twat on a moped.
Great moped though, i still ride it occasionally.

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@Sprogladog said
Great moped though, i still ride it occasionally.
You're the twat she rode off with ?

No matter. I'm still married to her successor. You know, the one with the panzer division and no tattoos ....

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I went to IKEA, with the wife.

Stayed five hours.





Stayed conscious--mostly.








We are still on speaking terms. Top that!

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@moonbus said
I went to IKEA, with the wife.

Stayed five hours.





Stayed conscious--mostly.








We are still on speaking terms. Top that!
If you bought something, you have two days hard labor ahead of assembling the 22,000 pieces that construct the unit.....and you will be short 1- J8 lag screw

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@moonbus
Did you buy candles and did you have meat/plant balls?

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@CosmicJojo said
@moonbus
Did you buy candles and did you have meat/plant balls?
I concede that I did not spend all five hours wandering aimlessly through a labyrinth of soulless bedrooms, bathrooms, and childrens' rooms. I spent one hour staring at Swedish meat balls and cranberry sauce, to lessen the time we would have left to spend wandering aimlessly through a labyrinth of soulless bedrooms, bathrooms, and childrens' rooms before closing time.

Then we bought a piece of furniture with an unpronouncible name, and candles. Vanilla scented.

(The cyanide ones were sold out. )


😵

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@shortcircuit said
If you bought something, you have two days hard labor ahead of assembling the 22,000 pieces that construct the unit.....and you will be short 1- J8 lag screw
I was dispatched the following Thursday to IKEA's Customer Service Dept. to obtain said missing J8 lag screw. It took me four hours (not counting driving time)--three and three-quarters of which were spent at the pub on the way home.

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@moonbus said
I was dispatched the following Thursday to IKEA's Customer Service Dept. to obtain said missing J8 lag screw. It took me four hours (not counting driving time)--three and three-quarters of which were spent at the pub on the way home.
I always seem to come away from Ikea with a plant and a cushion.

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@Ghost-of-a-Duke said
I always seem to come away from Ikea with a plant and a cushion.
Is the cushion so you don't sit on the plant?

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@shortcircuit said
Is the cushion so you don't sit on the plant?
Yes sir, yes it is.

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Im not sure all this Ikea and cushion chat is doing much for our toughguy image. we'll never attract babes into the forum like this.

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@Sprogladog said
Im not sure all this Ikea and cushion chat is doing much for our toughguy image. we'll never attract babes into the forum like this.
Oh, are we supposed to be attracting babes here? I thought we were comparing our bananas with other dudes’ bananas.

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@moonbus said
Oh, are we supposed to be attracting babes here? I thought we were comparing our bananas with other dudes’ bananas.
Its always about the babes...why else hangout on a chess site??