I don't seem to retain any pertinent information from game to game. Every time I play, I have to figure out even the most basic strategy from the beginning. I'm like an unwashed grape in that way. In other ways, I'm like a salamander, or a big box of wooden hangers. Somewhere in the world, my cell phone knows what time it is. But I don't know where my cell phone is. Rotating heads ... pip, pop ... rotating heads ....

I could sure go for some chocolate milk.

Have you ever noticed that if you spend the whole day on your feet, your legs get all bimbly until you lie down for a few hours? You don't have to sleep, but you do have to get your legs horizontal, at least until the hemorrhaging stops. One time, Junior brought a live catfish into the kitchen, and, of course, he dropped it on the linoleum floor, and it was floppin' all over the place, slippery as a kidney bean in a bubble bath, I'll tell you what.

Uh oh. Better take a raincheck on that drink, Kemosabe. Looks like Nurse Ratchet wants to take my temperature.