Rating 993

About Homer1Simpson

So a little about good old me. Who said I was old? Oh I did. OK, Once I was afraid I was petrified, kept thinking I could never live without me by my side...

Right here goes: I joined the Swiss Navy after leaving school at 4pm before being discharged after only two weeks due to the cuts in the military fleet. I decided on a change of career and so joined the Scottish International Pole Dancing Police, and after winning many saucers I decided to fly to Area 51 to see if it really doesn't exist.
I have now lost both my memory and my memory. I believe it was taken whilst I wasn’t at Area 51.
After an 89 year holiday within the in the USA's (Secret Padded Alectric Cells Environment, (SPACE...Yeah I know. They couldn't spell Elelectric.) Anyhow, I found Area 51 doesn’t exist. Well only in real life it doesn’t anyhow. I kept a diary but it was hard to write in that padded cell deep below ground with sparrows circling above - awaiting my sickly remains. I have veins thicker than my arms but they have replaced my blood with Scotch, less mess when you cut yourself and better than the taste of blood. I was finally released after serving just 186 years and I flew home arriving exhausted. Perhaps I should have got on a plane like everyone else because my arms really hurt as I flew up to the front door. Please don't let your Government know where I am hiding (18 Privet Drive, Devon UK) as I am a Secret 7 Spy with authority to pinch people's wheel trims to use in self-defense. I can kill a man at 20 paces, providing he stands still and promises not to move. Also, I have now learned how to shoot a knife. In other words, don't mess with me sonny-boy......... Please... I need help, real help. Where's the nearest Loony bin? No no no! I said Loony bin not wheelie bin! Was that last bit wheely necessary? Wot else? I only have 1 ear, so I can't wear glasses cos they fall off. And I only have 1 eye so why should I have to pay for two lenses? 😁 I am also a complete idiot! 😁

Rating Trend (last 50 games)

Rated Won / Drawn / Lost

All Rated

4006 games

As White

1999 games

As Black

2007 games

Player Stats

All Games Played4073
In Progress13
All Moves141697
Moves This Month61
Tourn. Entry Rating1076

Rated Color


4006 games


2020 games


1894 games


92 games

Rated Timeouts


655 games


52 games


90 days1 Year5 Years
Highest Rating103511601186
Average Rating98510131014
Lowest Rating919898818
Opponent Average Rating9761001996
Games Rated542232007
  • Moves This Month is the number of moves made since the 1st of the month.
  • Highest Rating excludes provisional (first 20) games.
  • Tournament Entry Rating is calculated by the formula (CurrentRating + HighestRating) / 2. The entry rating will never drop to more than 100 points below your Highest Rating.
  • Rated stats are updated within 24 hours of the last completed rated game.
  • Last refreshed on 30 Jul '20 .

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