My name is Callumari and I am pretty much the coolest individual this side of the Mississippi. If you need any confirmation on this subject, just ask me!!

I enjoy playing chess because it makes me feel like a smart man even though i didn't finish high school so put that in your pipe and smoke it. If you still think that I am a few sheep short in the paddock then challenge me to a game you punk!! Yeah go on, don't just think about it, put your chess pieces where your mouth is and challenge me!!!

One time in France I ate 16 carrots in 2 and a half minutes. And all those no gooders in my youth said I would amount to nothing and now look at me, i am the bees knees! Man I am literally shaking right now because I just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and realised that if I wasn't me, then I certainly would want to be me.
i'm unsure if you have ever seen Top Gun the movie, but I'm kind of like Ice man (Val Kilmer) when he's playing beach volleyball with his shirt off, yeah, chisled features, tanned skin and yet ruggedness that you could really cook up and serve. I seriously just came back inside from going to the shops, and all these ladies and a few men, were lining up just to lay their eyes on this individual just once so they could go home to their families and tell the story of interacting with a fine specimen such as myself.

Man.......... I'm so totally awsesome.