What do you think of this?

It's a short poem and I wondered what people might think in terms of its quality and emotional appeal. I have a reason for asking. I should stress that I AM NOT the author.

Waiting! Waiting!
Waiting for a letter
Waiting every day.

Will a letter ever come
Telling me good news?
Will a letter ever come
Telling me any news?

A knock on the door
A knock on the door
A letter has come
A letter has come.

Bad news! Bad news!
He's dead! He's dead!
Oh what can I do
Now he's dead?

@C-J-Horse

Not great to be honest old chap.

@C-J-Horse
i like it
it lacks resolution that might be helpful

@c-j-horse said
It's a short poem and I wondered what people might think in terms of its quality and emotional appeal. I have a reason for asking. I should stress that I AM NOT the author.

Waiting! Waiting!
Waiting for a letter
Waiting every day.

Will a letter ever come
Telling me good news?
Will a letter ever come
Telling me any news?

A knock on the door
A knock on the door ...[text shortened]...
A letter has come.

Bad news! Bad news!
He's dead! He's dead!
Oh what can I do
Now he's dead?

A gallant effort! 🙂

A big thumbs up for you too!

-VR

@C-J-Horse

I rewrote it old chap. (Hope you don't mind? )


She waits for a letter,
like the burning of a fuse,
its content may destroy her
but she's desperate for news.

'He's dead he's dead!'
the letter cries,
what can she do,
but wipe her eyes?

@ghost-of-a-duke said
@C-J-Horse

I rewrote it old chap. (Hope you don't mind? )


She waits for a letter,
like the burning of a fuse,
its content may destroy her
but she's desperate for news.

'He's dead he's dead!'
the letter cries,
what can she do,
but wipe her eyes?

No his was better!

Stop trying to put words in his mouth! 😉

-VR

Where have all the flowers gone
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone
Young girls pick them, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn
Oh, when will they ever learn
Where have all the young girls gone
Long time passing
Where have all the young girls gone
Long time ago
Where have all the young girls gone
Gone for husbands, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn
Oh, when will they ever learn
Where have all the husbands gone
Long time passing
Where have all the husbands gone
Long time ago
Where have all the husbands gone
Gone for soldiers, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn
Oh, when will they ever learn
Where have all the soldiers gone
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone
Long time ago
Where have all the soldiers gone
Gone to graveyards, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn
Oh, when will they ever learn
Where have all the graveyards gone
Long time passing
Where have all the graveyards gone
Long time ago
Where have all the graveyards gone
Gone to flowers, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn
Oh, when will they ever learn
Where have all the flowers gone
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone
Young girls have picked them, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn
Oh, when will they ever learn.

Pete Seegar

@rookie54 said
Where have all the flowers gone
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone
Young girls pick them, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn
Oh, when will they ever learn
Where have all the young girls gone
Long time passing
Where have all the young girls gone
Long time ago
Where have all the young girls gone
Gon ...[text shortened]... picked them, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn
Oh, when will they ever learn.

Pete Seegar

One of Pete Seeger's songs?

-VR

@very-rusty said
One of Pete Seeger's songs?

-VR

yer mind is an amazing gravity well
nothing escapes you, eh?

@rookie54 said
yer mind is an amazing gravity well
nothing escapes you, eh?

Are you pretending to be Canadian with the Eh?

Or your way of throwing an insult! 😛 😉

-VR

@ghost-of-a-duke said
@C-J-Horse

I rewrote it old chap. (Hope you don't mind? )


She waits for a letter,
like the burning of a fuse,
its content may destroy her
but she's desperate for news.

'He's dead he's dead!'
the letter cries,
what can she do,
but wipe her eyes?

Not great to be honest old chap. Doggerel, really.

I'll say again. I didn't write it.

@rookie54
Actually Pete Seeger. I played on stage with and met him at a bar one time where he played my Martin 12 string guitar and taught me his tune Living in the country.

@c-j-horse said
Not great to be honest old chap. Doggerel, really.

I'll say again. I didn't write it.

I know sir, that's why I gave honest feedback.

(Prolific repetition in a poem rarely works).

@Ghost-of-a-Duke

All I can say it - 'No news is good news' (as it was about news).

Good contributions.

@sonhouse said
@rookie54
Actually Pete Seeger. I played on stage with and met him at a bar one time where he played my Martin 12 string guitar and taught me his tune Living in the country.

That must have been a thrill for you!

-VR