The perfect inconspicuous weapon

The perfect inconspicuous weapon.

The Shovel.

I recently bought a shovel.
I then walked to the bus stop and nobody cared.
I was on the bus and nobody cared.

Inconspicuous.

It's the perfect weapon.
Obviously it would be a blunt force type of weapon so you better have some power before you choose The Shovel as your go to weapon.
Afterwards you can hide evidence by digging a grave. Maybe dress up like a Gardner or something and you are completely camouflaged.
It's like a Bo staff but better.
It can also be used as a cane or even an air guitar apparatus.

Goodbye hockey stick.

Fingers are lethal weapons if you poke someone in the eye deep enough.
Or make a thumbs up sign with a hand and point the end of your thumb onto your throat. Now imagine striking with a thumbs up sign.
Lethal but nobody seems to care.

@executioner-brand said
Fingers are lethal weapons if you poke someone in the eye deep enough.
Or make a thumbs up sign with a hand and point the end of your thumb onto your throat. Now imagine striking with a thumbs up sign.
Lethal but nobody seems to care.

While we’re talking about choking people, how have all these belts survived along people’s waists so long without someone questioning their potential weaponray usage?

Neck tie. That’s my weapon of choice. Try entering a classy restaurant or casino with a shovel; you’ll notice the difference right away.

@contenchess said
The perfect inconspicuous weapon.

The Shovel.

I recently bought a shovel.
I then walked to the bus stop and nobody cared.
I was on the bus and nobody cared.

Inconspicuous.

It's the perfect weapon.
Obviously it would be a blunt force type of weapon so you better have some power before you choose The Shovel as your go to weapon.
Afterwards you can hide ...[text shortened]... but better.
It can also be used as a cane or even an air guitar apparatus.

Goodbye hockey stick.

The wood attached to most garden implements (and brooms) is usually too light and not long enough to function as a bo staff.

Golf club.

(Used to carry a driver and putter on the bus to the local driving range.)

Edit: Essential to keep the novelty cover on the driver.

A frozen leg of lamb.
Ideal for battering burglars.
Once you have done the deed pop it into the oven.
When the cops are searching your property for the murder weapon you are calmly tucking into a nice dinner. Don't forget the mint sauce.

@contenchess [i]said[/
The Shovel as your go to weapon.
Afterwards you can hide evidence by digging a grave. Maybe dress up like a Gardner

Or dress up like The Gravedigger.

@the-gravedigger said
A frozen leg of lamb.
Ideal for battering burglars.
Once you have done the deed pop it into the oven.
When the cops are searching your property for the murder weapon you are calmly tucking into a nice dinner. Don't forget the mint sauce.

As has been turned into a nice story by Roald Dahl some decades ago.

@ponderable said
As has been turned into a nice story by Roald Dahl some decades ago.

A pal of mine was talking about it so that must have been where he got it from.

As a floorlayer I often had a stanley knife in my pocket and loose blades, the missus never went down my pockets.

@badradger said
As a floorlayer I often had a stanley knife in my pocket and loose blades, the missus never went down my pockets.

A brutal tool if used as a weapon.
Many years ago thugs were taping two stanley knives together.
The resulting wound was impossible to stitch.

@moonbus said
Neck tie. That’s my weapon of choice. Try entering a classy restaurant or casino with a shovel; you’ll notice the difference right away.

😆 ya you're right

@moonbus said
Neck tie. That’s my weapon of choice. Try entering a classy restaurant or casino with a shovel; you’ll notice the difference right away.

Fair comment 😆

@the-gravedigger said
A brutal tool if used as a weapon.
Many years ago thugs were taping two stanley knives together.
The resulting wound was impossible to stitch.

boro boot boys used to put 2 hooked blades in 1 knife forcing them apart with a matchstick now they left slash marks that could not be stitched.