The General Forum scriptures

Describing this forum (or site generally) in the style of biblical scripture.


The winged moderators, who’s mortal wounds were healed, were upon the interface in those days. And lo it came to pass that many posts were imprisoned for their belief, and others because of a pox being upon them. And there were rumours of forum wars and abominations in many places.

@divegeester said
Describing this forum (or site generally) in the style of biblical scripture.


The winged moderators, who’s mortal wounds were healed, were upon the interface in those days. And lo it came to pass that many posts were imprisoned for their belief, and others because of a pox being upon them. And there were rumours of forum wars and abominations in many places.

And the moderators spake thus, that no man shall take the name of other posters in vain, nor shall they use naughty swear - words, nor covet their neighbour's oxen, lest they cop a two - week ban. And a great fear fell upon the multitude, and there was much wailing and beating of breasts, and rending of garments, and a silence did fall upon the forum.

There grew up among them a poster of great annoyance who’s writings did causeth much wailing and gnashing of teeth. And he was brought before the Sanhedrin and spakest in words with the sound of metal grating on metal. And the Sanhedrin said unto him with great wrath “be the silenced oh annoying one”. But their words fell on rocky ground and all who watched tore their robes and alerted the holy one.

Moreover, with an uplifted hand I swore to them in the wilderness that I would not bring them into the land that I had given them, a land flowing with milk and honey, the glory of all lands. 😑

even if you do
thou shalt not

As they go through the posts, anyone who sees a human bone will leave a marker beside it until The Gravedigger shall bury it in the Valley of Hamon Gog.

And it came to pass that several pawns were gathered about him in that place, and some were red hot, and he sayeth unto them, 'Verily I say to you that even the humblest among you, if thou reacheth the eighth rank, shall become a queen, and thine opponent shall be in a right old pickle, and verily shall you probably win the game, and thou shalt pisseth off thine opponent.'

Russell wept.

In the beginning Russ created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of Russ was hovering over the waters. And Russ said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.
And Executioner Brand said could I just have the darkness again please.

And the beastie causeth every man (or woman) to have upon them a mark, and the mark shall permit man (or woman) great privilege of belonging and of other things written down in the place of remembrance. And each man (or woman) shall carry the mark of the beastie and his mark shall be a pentagon with 2 angels wings. The number of the wings being 2, not 3 nor 1.

Very early one summer morning, Odin, Loki and Honir crossed into Midgrad, happy in one another's company and intent upon exploring some part of the earth not already known to them.

In the year of St Penis of Antioch the spirit of the crushed skull cameth upon @mghrn55 and he said unto him “go thee now into the wilderness where I will forge thee and wrestle with thee for I have a great task for thee”. And @mghrn55 sayeth to the Lord of the crushed skull “WTF!?” But he was obedient to the call and went up and became know henceforth as ‘@mghrn55 who is called Mike’ and led his clan of warriors into much victory and hasslement from losers.